What is love? Psychology: the state of love

People always ask themselves the question of what is love and whether it is possible to distinguish it from true love even at the stage of origin. This issue is especially relevant because of the high percentage of divorces in couples who have married for the first time, and again. What causes frequent divorces and does it mean that our parents loved each other stronger? Let's look at this publication.

The phenomenon of love

Psychologists have for many years studied the comparison of human feelings, invariably coming to the conclusion that the state of love gives a person the impetus for the continuation of the genus. Speaking in scientific terms, the feeling that came as if by magic wand is a genetically predetermined instinctive component of mating. Why is this happening? The answer is simple. Man is inherently self-centered, and love for a time fogs the mind, allowing to see in his half only good qualities. People, experiencing euphoria, convince themselves that it will always be so, they are not taught anything by examples of other married couples who are divorced after 2 years of living together.

Why do couples break up?

But, unfortunately, the boat, called "conjugal happiness", quite quickly breaks down about life and the first difficulties. First love often leads to early marriages because the percentage of unplanned pregnancy is high. So the notorious phenomenon, substituting concepts, does its "black" business. If the couple, not seeing the further continuation of the relationship, decides to part, the "heavy artillery" comes into play, in the face of parents and public opinion trying to bring people once in love with each other and persuade them to continue living together for the sake of the child.

Fiction that has a time frame

Studying the relationship of married couples, experts have tracked the time frame in which love exists and develops in its peak state. 2 years - this is how long euphoria lasts from the feelings of married couples. And, if the love of a man completely fits within the indicated time frame, then the ladies are able to experience this euphoria a little longer.

After this time, couples begin constant quarrels, there is a misunderstanding, people go down to mutual insults and accusations. It is at this moment that people realize that the feeling they mistakenly mistook for love has passed. In fact, love has its terms, but love can not pass.

Several variants of the development of events

Studying the question of what is love, we found out that the instinct of procreation prevails over a large part of the population. Love can be sought forever, but never found. But the state of being in love, capable of substituting values in the mind of a person, is an excellent occasion to create a family.

Par couples that were able to save the family, in a larger percentage of cases, relationships between themselves are supported by outside influence. In other words, men and women find new objects of lust and secretly change their half on the side. Paradoxically, this circumstance keeps families afloat. Also, many couples (like in many cases with our parents) exist with each other solely for the sake of children. Well, in the most popular version of the family, having conceived a child, they simply disintegrate.

What is love: how to recognize a fiction?

We will expand all on shelves. Know that a state of love will never become an incentive for a person's development, his personal growth and self-improvement. This feeling for the final result takes possession of an object that you like. Everything, the person has achieved what he wanted, there is nothing more to strive for. Also, psychologists have identified 3 main principles by which one can distinguish love from love:

• Feeling arises on a subconscious level, spontaneously. Sometimes there is a feeling that we fall in love absolutely not with people who are suitable for us, "at the wrong time and in the wrong place". This state can not be induced artificially, it suddenly comes and can disappear like a soap bubble.
• The psychology of love is passive. As we said earlier, this feeling does not awaken the best qualities in a person and does not make you want to change yourself for the better, let alone discipline. All the things that happen at this moment are strange enough and not peculiar to us.
• In this state, people in pairs are not at all interested in personal growth of their half, they just want to put an end to their loneliness.

Men are also looking for feelings

So, we found out what is love. Another interesting thing is the reasoning behind the difference between female and male love, and is it true that men are only interested in sexual objects in the object of lust. In fact, men are also very sensitive to feelings, just as vulnerable and waiting for affection. The difference is expressed only in the manifestation of their relationship.

How do men fall in love? This condition makes the gentleman often write, call his lady, make appointments, make expensive purchases for her, take care and patronize. A man in love does not abandon his intentions after refusing intimacy, he tries as much as possible to please his passions, spending time, just holding hands. But, as we found out, all this can collapse after a while after the goal has been achieved.

Conclusion

No wonder people say that love is work. It turns out that the people's sages are right, and in order to preserve the feeling that has arisen, one must really want to become better by throwing back one's own ego. However, if the other half does not desire the same, all efforts will be in vain.