Self improvementPsychology

Jealousy is a sign of love? Love, jealousy, trust

Sooner or later, every person at least once in their lives will meet with such feelings as jealousy. The problem of jealousy affects a large number of people. What is the nature of this feeling? Jealousy is a sign of love? Or is it a symbol of human egoism? In any case, this problem has colossal proportions. Almost every women's magazine published at least one test of jealousy. Glossy publications are full of articles about this feeling. Jealousy, a quote about which can be found in almost any book, has become part of human life. What will this feeling lead us to ? And is the statement "jealousy is a sign of love"? Let's understand the nature of this feeling.

Jealousy - what is it?

The very feeling of jealousy is destructive. Its basis is dissatisfaction, insecurity, distrust or the desire to take revenge on another person. The attitude of a man to a woman is often accompanied by similar emotions. What does this mean? That jealousy is a sign of a man's love or a sign of his insecurity? In most cases, any manifestation of this feeling is a rattling cocktail of several emotions. Jealousy of a husband, wife, children or girlfriend, intertwining with other negative feelings: resentment, anger, anguish, loneliness - pushes a person to commit acts that often have unpleasant consequences. Therefore, it is necessary to find the strength to curb it.

Jealousy is a sign of love?

Many believe that this feeling is one of many manifestations of love. But is it? Of course, we will be jealous of only those people who mean a lot to us. However, if a person experiences a similar feeling, this does not mean that he loves. Therefore, jealousy has some other source than love. The simplest test for jealousy will help you realize what became the cause of this feeling. After you notice in yourself at least a small fraction of jealousy, do an introspection and try to understand what its origins are. Next, we give several possible options.

Fear of betrayal

The attitude of a man to a woman is very often accompanied by jealousy. This feeling is very closely related to the notion of treason. Jealousy in its simplest form is the fear of what a loved one can betray. Or is this the feeling that appears when a jealous girl learns of committing treason. When a person shows this feeling, he pursues the desire to protect himself from the betrayal of a partner. However, very often it happens quite the contrary.

Projection of complexes on another person

In most cases, for a sense of jealousy is uncertainty in themselves and in their usefulness. It can manifest itself in fear of failure, and in jealousy. The way to support one's own self-esteem is often the relationship with another person. That's why they are so significant.

Sense of ownership

The consequence of the desire to possess a person, as well as keep everything under control can become jealousy. Quotes of great people often mention this. Again, the source of this behavior, most likely, are internal complexes, discomfort and doubts about one's own strengths.

Unjustified expectations

Feeling of jealousy can arise even when we place certain expectations on a person, but he does not justify them. In most cases, such expectations are related to trust.

Controlling someone else's fate

With the help of power over another person, we are trying to create stable conditions for ourselves. We, controlling other people's actions, can prevent changes in relations, and we support the stability of our own lives. However, this is only an illusion, since total control is simply impossible. As a result, there is distrust and a sense of jealousy.

As it was possible to notice, jealousy is a deep experience of a person. However, this feeling can also be different. A child can be jealous of parents and vice versa. You can experience this feeling in relation to a friend or to a loved one. How to classify it and what are its origins?

Sibling rivalry

In fact, jealousy is trying to find a secluded place in your life in early childhood, that is, when you are not yet able to protect it properly. She quietly comes to you from behind and whispers in your ear: "Look! Your mother treated the candy to a neighbor girl! But she could have given it to you. Mom does not love you. She loves that girl more than you! "At first you just try not to pay attention to her whisper, but jealousy is an insistent lady. It will remind you of yourself about time after time. When the pope takes up another child, when he praises the successes of the elder sister, when parents advise to take an example from a younger brother. That's when you really get scared. And suddenly they really do not like you? Why do not you get the attention of your parents? After all, they said that you will be loved by them in any case. That's when jealousy will prevail.

Everyone has this feeling in their own way. Someone immediately approaches and properly pulls the scythe of the very neighbor's girl, who had carelessness to caress your parents. And someone will conceal an insult for life and will regularly remind the aged mom and dad of what they have done.

Friendly jealousy

And life goes on as usual. You grow up, go to school, finish the institute, work. And your constant friend - jealousy - does not leave you for a minute. You will make new acquaintances, join the company, communicate with colleagues at work. And she, in turn, will quietly strengthen her positions.

Do you have a best friend or friend? Excellent! It could not be better! For jealousy this is a plowed field. And you can already hear her whisper: "Look! She has not phoned you for the second day. Surely she is busy with those with whom she is interested to communicate. Do not you want to call and express everything that you think about this traitor? "Needless to say, as soon as you begin to succumb to such impulses, all your friendship will break down the brick behind the brick.

How is this jealousy manifested? When you go to a cafe with a girlfriend, you are ready to discuss only two of you. People who at this time call her on the mobile, cause you literally physical pain. You get furious if the girlfriend does not answer your call or, even worse, refuses to take a walk together.

Love and jealousy

Perhaps, the beloved is the most tidbit for jealousy. Indeed, there is where to glory to walk. You have not yet had time to fully enjoy the candy-bouquet period of the first love, to feel the whole emotional palette of the first love, and she has already matured a plan of action. Hurry up, you still have much to do!

First read all his SMS messages and correspondence in social networks. Check his notebook for the names of women. Do not forget to crack your email! Ask all friends and acquaintances: who knows, maybe they already saw him by the handle with a new passion. It is extremely important to monitor each call, as well as a schedule of movement around the city. Do not forget to immediately throw a scandal, if he somewhere will stay at least for ten minutes. After this scandal, he must remove all the numbers marked with female names: here belong former girls, classmates, and colleagues at work. Of women, you allow only yourself and his relatives, and then the closest ones.

Parental jealousy

If you have managed to cope with yourself and not to destroy at least one romantic relationship, to create a family, then the next danger that lies in wait for you is the birth of a child. Can you imagine? You raise your baby, give him all the love that you are capable of, and all at the same time. But here he is growing, he suddenly has new friends, hobbies, hobbies and interests. Your influence on the child is getting smaller every day. He now loves not only mom and dad. On its horizon there are new objects for adoration. In what will be expressed your resentment and confusion? In the worst case, you will become intrusive to patronize your child. And when the child grows, then categorically declare that you broke his life.

Ask the question: do you need such a finale? Then tell this feeling an unshakable "no" and slam the door in front of his nose. Forget the old saying that if a person is jealous - then he loves. Not true. If he is jealous - he does not trust, doubts, craves attention, but does not like.

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