The problem of fathers and children: arguments. Fathers and children: the problem of relationships

The eternal problem of fathers and children has always existed. It consists in the fact that at a certain stage of the "adult-child" interaction a conflict arises that requires an early consideration and a mutually beneficial solution. The problem of generations in itself is sufficiently acute and conflictual. It is difficult for the parties to come to an agreement precisely because everyone has their own ideas about how life should be arranged.

Often parents simply sincerely worry about their children, therefore they aspire to control their actions in everything. Children do not understand this, they think that their freedom is limited, and deliberately. But the parent never acts negatively towards the child, so to speak, out of harm, while the offspring are sometimes ready to suffer for the principle. This is the main problem of fathers and children. Arguments can be very different: from the desire to defend their point of view to zealous protection of individuality.

General patterns of the generation of misunderstandings between generations

The most open and protracted conflicts are mostly born of fathers and children. The problem of generations often does not allow us to come to a common agreement, understand and hear each other in the contradictory, desperate struggle of ideals, meanings, ideas. On the part of someone, it may seem that children are growing ungrateful, but they are simply defending their identity, the desire to be autonomous and self-sufficient in everything. Another question: are they ready for this independence, which is so selflessly screaming? Probably not. Adolescents and young men are still immature enough to start an independent life: they will not be able to provide themselves with housing, full nutrition.

"I'm already an adult!"

Often such a phrase can be heard from a child of thirteen to sixteen years. He wants to do as he sees fit, to put into practice his bold ideas and goals. However, it should be remembered that it is more important for a teenager to uphold the principle than in reality to do something. And he argues with the parent more often because he does not know how to negotiate otherwise. It is important for him that others perceive him as an adult and a person who has taken place. In this case, in fact, he is still a child and is not ready for a full-fledged independent life.

The problem of generations is often exacerbated by the fact that the child completely does not understand what it means to be an adult. It seems to him that the most important thing is to be able to prove in the dispute his rightness, the idea, but in fact the real maturity comes when the young man is ready to provide for himself and completely live independently. Not everyone is ready for such a step, as separation from parents at 18, 20, 25 years and older.

"You dress defiantly!"

Such a remark can be heard in your address by grown-up children. Parents often believe that their offspring grow up too fast, wear clothes that spoil them, unnecessarily attracts the attention of others. Children have a completely different vision of the situation. It seems to them that these parents over-patronize them, do not let them step on their own.

What can I advise my parents? It's clear that you absolutely do not like how your child is dressed: some incomprehensible styles, dark or, conversely, too bright colors. But the best thing to do is accept the choice of your child. Respect the person in him - and then one day he will listen to your opinion. Children should be more patient and not show off their "independence", remembering that they have not yet become independent.

Examples of the problem of fathers and children: a daughter of fifteen is going on a date, painted in front of a mirror. Mother makes her remark: a short skirt, causing makeup. As a result, the daughter is offended and demonstratively sent. The problem is not solved. The daughter is still underage and can not support herself.

A son of sixteen likes to listen to rock music. All his pocket money, which his parents allocate, he spends on buying musical discs. My father does not like the son's enthusiasm, he would like to see him in the future a successful athlete. At every opportunity, the father tells his son that his hobby is worthless and can not be considered worthy of a real man. The son is offended, although he does not change his position. The conflict is sluggish, but lasting.

Difference of interests

It is important to understand that parents and children can not have the same views on life, with only a few exceptions there is almost complete idyll. This is absolutely normal, and there is no need to strive for everyone to like everything. In addition, we should not forget that for parents important atmosphere of peace and quiet, while children need to communicate with their peers, festivities, which means - dynamism, noise.

Conflicts can be caused by fathers and children themselves. The problem of mutual relations is formed more quickly where there are tangible disagreements and pronounced contradictions.

The problem of individual housing

Perhaps, this is the most painful question that can only arise in the "parent-child" relationship. Of course, this applies to adult children, who are already eighteen or twenty years old, and young adults. As you grow up, you want independence, you want to see the results of your work. In this case, the problem of fathers and children is not at all far-fetched. Arguments more than serious: the child must learn to be completely independent. But not every family has the opportunity to provide the child with everything necessary in advance, buy an apartment by the time he is ready to provide for himself. Those who do not have the means to buy an apartment must somehow get out of the situation: rent a separate dwelling or continue living together with their parents. In the event that a young man or girl, having reached a conscious age, remains under the roof of his home, they must contribute to the family budget. After all, parents should not feed and keep older children, this would be extremely wrong.

Beliefs and values

The problem of fathers and children (arguments in favor of the fact that older and younger generations should listen to each other, are not always correctly perceived) generates quite often mutual insults and misunderstandings. It seems to parents that if an adult child lives with them, then he must live by their orders, in all things carry out their will. A young man would be glad to secede, but for the time being, for example, finances do not allow.

Views on life, the beliefs of parents and children, even with low conflict, will differ to some extent. After all, every person has his own goals and aspirations. The achievements of children are not immediately visible, sometimes it takes considerable effort.

The problem of borders and freedom

Those who have lived side by side with their parents for many years, and then finally got the opportunity to purchase their own housing, will undoubtedly appreciate all the advantages of a separate residence. Parents can be the most golden, but they can consider their task of raising children when the child has reached a good level of independence: he has the opportunity to rent housing, eat separately, provide himself with life, solve emerging issues. In short, one must assume responsibility, and only then embark on an adult life. Independence itself requires large investments, the advantages are not immediately noticeable.

Living with their parents under one roof, we involuntarily violate their personal space, and they inadvertently interfere in ours. This should be taken into account and understood if you are not going to separate. Of course, not everyone has such an opportunity, but then you must accept the rules that reign in your family. Bending their line, arguing, conflict with their parents, being in their care, unworthy, ugly and wrong.

Examples of conflicts in fiction

One of the most significant is the problem of fathers and children. The works of Russian classical literature show us examples of such manifestations of the conflict. Immediately remember the famous characters: Eugene Bazarov and Pavel Petrovich Kirsanov, "battling" in a verbal fight for the idea. In addition to them, there are still heroes from the drama "Thunderstorm": Katerina, who could not live with her grumpy mother-in-law, and her husband Tikhon, who has been adjusting his life to the wishes of his mother.

Modern problems of fathers and children

To date, the conflicts of generations exist just as they did many years ago. The reasons for disagreement are the difference of interests, views on life, views, housing issues. The latter is painful for many, since not having their own homes for some young people turns around the prospect of spending their entire lives in losers.

No one so aspires to prove his rightness to the opponent, like fathers and children. Relationship problem Often lies in the reluctance to understand, take into account each other's needs.

Steps to maintaining a warm, trusting relationship

For those who wish to please their loved ones for many years, it is better to understand the motives of their actions and just their moods, our advice will be useful. A strong thread is connected with each other fathers and children. The Problem of Generations Most often is that people do not know how to correctly understand each other. They seem to speak different languages. Children should treat their parents with respect, respect their experience and wisdom, and not be ashamed to learn some useful skills. Parents will benefit from sincere and trustful communication with grown up children: their knowledge can be useful for more than once. It is important to learn to respect the position of another person, accept it as it really is, and not try to remake it.

Thus, the problem of fathers and children is very significant and important. Arguments that testify to the presence of difficulties of interaction always contain the keys to a positive solution. It is only necessary to want to change something in your life, as there are adequate and acceptable ways to realize this intention.