Self improvementPsychology

How to forgive yourself, find an excuse for mistakes of the past

In many religions, we are taught to forgive not only our loved one, but also to forget our own mistakes of the past. However, this should be done only after learning from lessons learned.

Misconduct is part of life.

Life is not permanently smooth, on the way of every person there are unevennesses that he has to overcome in order to improve himself. What we have gone through, hardens us and makes us stronger. The most important thing is to admit: "I am guilty" (if it is really so), draw conclusions and go further.

If you made a mistake, harmed others, fell prey to deception or false errors, first of all it is worth trying to fix the created situation. However, not always there is such an opportunity. Sometimes people suffer because of the final result of their actions. The soul is aggravated by sad thoughts and the desire to return everything back, to do otherwise.

In this case, the church, and just common sense, offers repentance, forgive yourself, forget all the bad experiences associated with this incident. In such situations it is very important not to go completely and irrevocably into the sphere of emotions, do not lose your head.

Lean on sober mind

To be guided follows logic, to calm yourself with the thought that your actions were wrong and led to bad consequences, but in the future you will not do so any more, because you have gained invaluable experience. As they say, only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.

If earlier you made this or that decision, you saw the point. Not always a person has adequate and truthful information about everything that happens around. He may fall prey to deception or misinterpretation of facts. The good news is that the mistakes of the past are likely to teach you to be more careful in the future, carefully think through each step, and plan your actions correctly. Very few people manage to realize this in theory, and only the elite learn from other people's failures. But it is better to get knowledge in such a way than not to get them at all.

Everything happens as it should

Life is like wandering in a dark room in which porcelain dishes stand on the shelves. If you want, you do not want to, and if you do not turn on the light, you'll hit something. Every mistake makes us ignite a new spark in our path, through which truth is revealed before the eyes.

How can you forgive yourself if after a while you notice how stupid and groundless are your own actions logically? It is worth to calm down and realize that in the past your knowledge was much more modest and increased precisely because of the failure for which you are so krill. So is not it more rational, on the contrary, to praise and thank yourself for not sitting idly by, and trying to do something?

Many even completely restrict their activities, because they are too insecure, afraid to make mistakes. Although the feeling of guilt and shame still appears in them because of their own zazhatosti. So both action and inaction are good to the place and to the time. Few people are born with an intuitive sense of this subtle harmony. Understand how to act, you can with experience, after a couple of rakes you still come.

Free yourself

There is nothing more terrible than living with a heavy weight on the soul, not knowing how to forgive yourself. People who have adopted this kind of thinking are themselves poisoning their lives. If there is an opportunity to correct what was done, do it, if not, apologize.

If one can not even apologize, it remains only to analyze the situation and develop a model of action for further such cases. But this is already a lot.

Human experience is extremely important. Passing through individual situations, we become wiser. Thinking that things could have been much better, do not forget that, most likely, for this simply there were no proper conditions. How can you build a durable house on a bad foundation, and it's impossible to get a good result under poor conditions.

The problem needs to be understood

In any case, it's worth trying to justify yourself. But this does not mean simply giving up on the situation with your hand. So only people can do that are unscrupulous, always putting their own interests at the center of the corner. The main argument for forgiveness is that you pursued false ideas, did not have enough information.

Few can see the future, so often you have to go through life in the dark. Someone is investigating the road neatly, but even he is not immune to embarrassment. Not to mention impulsive and impressionable people. It can not be said that these are bad features. They can play a pretty good role in a number of other situations. Finding the right path, such individuals direct all their passion into a good channel. But if such a person, in fact, a maximalist, stumbles, he will repeat himself hundreds of times: "I am guilty, how could I make such a mistake?" And with a fierce biting my own elbows. In fact, it's a waste of energy. Sooner or later, when emotions all the same subsided, they have to draw conclusions and live on.

Relapses of self-flagellation

A man can not endure endlessly. The world around him is constantly changing, does not stand still. New goals will emerge, and the experience gained will serve as appropriate when they are achieved. However, many people suffer from the fact that periodically (sometimes once a week, a month - for all in different ways) they are pricked by an acute sting of conscience. How to forgive yourself in this situation?

If you suffer from such relapses, it means that you have not figured out the situation before. It's not enough just to escape from the problem, it needs to be comprehended, thoroughly analyzed and drawn conclusions. In our time, people have little time and a lot of unnecessary information around. To score a head is not a problem. But remaining alone with yourself, you will feel that the door is knocking the old guest - the past.

In such situations it can go down to depression. You seem to have killed someone, fled the scene of the crime and suddenly came across an empty view of the skull from the half-decomposed flesh. Unpleasant sensations. The soul at these times experiences real throwing and depression. Man assures himself of his own stupidity, viciousness and worthlessness. It is very important to learn how to forgive yourself in such situations. Then the terrible glamor that comes from time to time in your heart will dissipate, as if under the rays of the dawning sun, driving out the darkness from the dank and chilling streets of the night.

Defensive reaction

Our state of health directly depends on the level of self-esteem. A person can not live peacefully with the realization that he is bad. Everyone wants to know that he is doing the right thing, at the bottom of his heart everyone wants one thing: harmony and happiness for himself and others.

In our society it often happens that the souls of people are covered with a crust of cynicism, which at all times has been a strange fashion. Outwardly it seems that the individual has no principles, he does not feel sorry for anyone. But the truth is that, as a rule, this equanimity is just a protective reaction, applied in order not to get an emotional wound on the part of society. This phenomenon is even more pronounced when the cause is not so much in society as in its own deep feelings.

Unsolved problems

Not knowing how to forgive yourself, people will be assured of their depravity, and at the same time, the sinfulness of the whole surrounding world. Of course, in practice it often happens that people act badly to achieve their own interests or again because of a lack of information. But this can not be considered a norm. We can admit that this is the case, but at the same time there is a need to work to improve the situation.

This can be achieved through introspection and the ability to understand the world around. A person should not give up on everything, hammer his head with unnecessary information and trail behind consumer values, with the help of which, as we are assured, it is possible to cure any mental wound.

A fool is not the one who makes mistakes, but one who does not study them

When people eat themselves from the inside, often the surrounding people tell them something like: "You think too much. Take your time. " Will not help. More precisely, only for a while. To facilitate and spiritual purity, comprehensive freedom came finally, you need to carefully understand your motives, realize what exactly led to the undesirable result, and promise yourself to avoid such situations in the future.

After such an internal cleaning you will begin to respect yourself much more and, finally, forgive. There is nothing unusual and fatal in making mistakes. It is worth taking such things as a chance to become wiser and increase your experience. The real stupidity is to escape from the problem and get into the same trap again.

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