4 habits that can spoil the conversation

Why did not he call me back? Why did not she crumple over my jokes? Why do they no longer want to meet and chat? Did you ever feel that you did something wrong and thereby sabotaged the conversation (or, worse still, the relationship)?

If we lived in an ideal world, we could evaluate our communication skills with the help of special equipment and get a detailed analysis. We could learn in detail about all our strengths, weaknesses, good and bad habits, even about the style of our conversation.

Fortunately, you have a good friend who can always tell you what's wrong with how you talk. Oh, you do not have that? Do not worry, you are not alone. If we make mistakes in the conversation, most of us will never know about it. People just decide not to communicate with us. And you can not help it.

Perhaps you do not have a friend or special equipment that points to your mistakes, but you can consider the most common problems during a conversation. After analyzing yourself, you will be able to make sure that you will not destroy your conversations and relationships anymore.

Let's take a closer look at four basic bad habits in conversation.

1. Are you a parrot?

Do you think that you constantly rephrase or repeat what your interlocutor told you? If he says "Cool movie" you say "Yes, it was really a great movie"? "Parrots" pretend that they are talking, but, in fact, do not make any effort. They are more like an echo when they are repeated after others.

If you understand that constantly repeating for someone, try to add to your lines more personal opinions and significant comments.

2. Are you an energetic vampire?

You can tell fascinating stories and express your opinion, but if you do not support all this with emotions, people can come to the conclusion that you are very hard to listen. Lack of emotion and energy during a conversation can destroy this conversation faster than any other bad habit. A good conversation should be live, and the interlocutors should exchange energy while doing this. If energy does not come from you, then most likely you just absorb it.

Think about what your voice is - a roller coaster for listeners. Do you create a flat and boring ride? Try to make your roller coaster pleasing to a particular audience. Change speed, add accents, change intonation and emphasize keywords.

And besides, record your voice on the recorder. In fact, reread this section in your usual voice and listen to the recording. If you've never done this before, you'll be surprised.

3. Are you a predictable storyteller?

The predictable narrator lives in a serious and literal world. If such a person is going to go into the kitchen and you ask him where he is going, he will always say: "To the kitchen." Everything that such people say is predictable, they are unable to surprise you with something. And, on the contrary, a playful narrator can answer a question unpredictably, and you never know what to expect from it. This should be the conversation: playful and unpredictable.

Always train your mind to be able to come up with an unexpected answer in time. The next time someone asks you a question or comments on something, think over the answer so that it turns out to be playful and unpredictable (within reason). After that, use one of the comments you invented and see what happens. You will be surprised.

4. Are you really a narcissistic companion?

Narcissists prefer to talk about themselves. The only reason why they can ask another person how he spent the weekend is to translate the conversation into himself. They will most likely say something like: "It's good ... but you will not believe what happened to me." Communication with such a person is unlikely to bring pleasure. Daffodils rarely take interest in the affairs of another person completely unselfishly or ask additional questions. The main goal of a narcissist in any conversation is to prove to everyone around him that he is much better than the rest.

This is easy to fix if you are sincerely interested in the affairs of another person. If someone tells you about yourself, focus your attention on this person, ask leading questions and make comments that will show the interlocutor that you are listening carefully.