The husband does not want children: we persuade correctly!

Even with the most convinced careerist, over the years, the thought may arise that she wants to leave a trace behind herself, to love someone and take care of someone. In a word - understanding that it's time to have a baby. However, a potential dad may simply not be ready for such a turn of events. How to act in such a situation wisely? What if my husband does not want children?

Fear of responsibility

Among the reasons why a husband does not want children, this is the most likely. Almost all teenagers in the midst of interest in the opposite sex are warned against rash actions, arguing that the child is an extremely big responsibility. Stories of relatives and friends like: "Look, Zinka from the third door gave birth, the husband can not support the family. I have to ask my parents, and they are also elderly ... "They only pour oil on the fire. A man can have nothing against the idea to raise a baby, but be wary that he is not ready for such responsibility.

What to do

Family psychologists in this situation are advised to have a dog or other animal. A man will learn to take care of someone who is weaker, he will see the return. You can tell him about your childhood, about how your father cared about you in due time. You can visit friends or friends who already have babies. Seeing in the role of a happy father his friend, a man can realize that not everything is so scary.

Uncertainty in feelings for the wife

Here everything is somewhat more complicated and depends on the situation. It is very important to understand: a husband does not want children because he is not already confident in feelings for you, or YET.

What to do

In the first case, you probably missed the right moment, and the lover has long looked "left." If you got married recently, you should not rush things - probably a man really wants to make sure that you are a reliable person who is worthy to educate his children. But to keep a husband with the help of a child is not worth it. At first it is better to solve intra-family conflicts or to part completely and seek new relationships - the baby should grow up in a strong and loving family.

Do not rush

It's not so important how old your spouse is: some are already 20 years old psychologically ready for the emergence of a new member of the family, and some in 40 it seems as if it's still early ... The crux of the problem lies in the fact that a man often perceives marriage not as a step into adulthood , To a completely new stage of it, but as another exciting adventure.

What to do

Show your respect for your husband, and the next time he decides to extend the term ("Come on, maybe in a year or two?"), Agree with him, but immediately let me know that you do not intend to wait any longer. Believing him, you will show that the word of the spouse is the law for you. When a husband does not want children precisely for this reason, it is important to let him feel the inevitability of this step. But in any case do not oppress him with hints of age and that it's time to settle down - this will alienate him even more.

You must first firmly stand on your feet

Maybe it's that the husband does not want children, believing that this is fraught with new huge spending money, which he is not able to pull out.

What to do

First think about whether you ask him too much. Perhaps, with your space-scale requests, he does not have any more money left at all. Make it clear that, first of all, the child needs the love and care of parents, not the Gucci sliders or platinum walkers.

Marriage of convenience

If during marriage a person is guided not by light feelings, but by the bank account of the parents of the bride or herself, to the idea of having a baby, he is likely to react apathetically ("If you want, let's, you do not want it").

What to do

If you are sure that you want a child from this person, he will not create any obstacles for you. However, be prepared for the fact that all worries and responsibilities will completely fall on your fragile shoulders.

Health problems

Only this reason why a husband does not want a child can be called serious.

What to do

Let him know that you really want the baby, but only from him and nothing else. Summon a man to a frank conversation, let him talk about his problems. Tell a couple of examples (you can and a little embellished), when your friends and relatives successfully recovered from infertility. Remember that in more than 90% of cases the work of a competent specialist will give the desired result, the main thing is to find a good doctor!