The daughter in law - who is this? To be afraid or be friends?

Previously, even in Russia, a guy in his wife took himself a girl from another village or settlement. For him and his relatives, she was considered as an alien, in other words, from where she came from. Hence the term "daughter-in-law" came into being, which meant "a stranger in a new home and family."

Relation degree

How has the concept changed in modern life? Young daughter-in-law - who is this for her husband's parents? A woman, getting married, becomes a relative for almost the entire family of her husband: for father-in-law, mother-in-law, brother of her husband and his sister. Also to the wives of the brothers and the husbands of the sisters, she is the daughter-in-law.

Another daughter

Of course, in most families a new woman is taken with caution, as if looking closely at her, especially the newly-made mother-in-law. For the new relatives, the daughter-in-law is who it is, if not a stranger with its past and with its worldview? But wise parents, seeing that young people love and care for each other, get used to a new member of the family, and even consider the son's wife their second daughter.

I or she!

Most often the newlyweds come to live in the husband's family. Quite a common situation, when my mother-in-law tries to put the young woman in her place and with her whole appearance shows that she is the only woman in the house herself. In such a family there is a contradiction: who is more important - the mother-in-law or daughter-in-law? Who can resolve this contradiction, if not themselves.

Many parents believe that they are the best for their sons, and no "wife" can replace the offspring mother. They are right in their own way. But wise mothers who really love their "boys" and wish them happiness, will not destroy the new family, but will try to move to the background.

Start small

To leave from the first step of the pedestal is necessary competently. To make a course with a knight and establish relations with the son's wife, so much so that to become her friend and mentor. You can start, for example, by writing congratulations to your daughter-in-law on some significant holiday. If she is an intelligent girl, she will appreciate such an act. We can assume that the first step is made.

Perhaps the girl is stubborn in something and does not want to give up the primacy of her husband's mother, but this can be attributed to the manifestations of youth. In this case, mother-in-law can only wish patience and further efforts. After all, the young wife does not really want to destroy her own happiness and see how her new husband suffers. Most likely, the steps of mother-in-law will have their effect.

Starts with a small: congratulations on his daughter's birthday, then release a few compliments to a new relative. And my mother-in-law is already at a shorter distance from my son's wife than before. At the festive table, you can not only congratulate the "new" and say a few kind words to her, but also notice how happy the son became and how he became complacent. All this is undoubtedly the merit of his wonderful wife. And when the grandchildren appear, the grandmother will tell them about their beautiful and worthy mother. For these manifestations of wisdom and tolerance of the mother-in-law, they will be grateful to both daughter-in-law and sons.

A few more words ...

Let our small parting words become for you a push in establishing relations with the son's wife, then there will be no question: "daughter-in-law - who is this, the enemy or a new daughter?".