Sister of the husband: such uneasy family relations

In no language are there so many names for relatives, as in Russian. About banal father-in-law, mother-in-law, brother-in-law and son-in-law, it's not even worth talking, everyone knows who it is. But did you know, for example, that the husbands of the two sisters fall into each other's brother-in-law, and the wives of the two brothers-yatrovka? It is interesting that in the Russian language there are very accurate and sarcastic proverbs and sayings that reflect uneasy relationships within the family. For example: "city kuma are arrogant", "she is jealous that her mother-in-law", "have pockets for your mother-in-law".

But today we will stop at one relative - this is the sister of the husband, or sister-in-law. Do you know how long they talked about her husband's sister? A sister-in-law or a sister-in-law-a whorl! And they also said: "Zolovushkin's speeches stand with speech". What did this relative deserve this attitude to her?

The sister of husband and wife almost always have a complicated relationship. This is the same known conflict, as in the relationship "mother-in-law" or "mother-in-law - daughter-in-law". At the same time, the wife usually considers herself to be a sufferer: they are convinced that sister-in-law allow themselves to interfere in the personal life of their spouses, in their way of life, in the sphere of raising children and managing the family budget. At the same time, the nurses themselves are often puzzled: they sincerely believe that they have the full right to do so. That is why wives usually reduce communication with sister-in-law to a minimum, or, at least, try to do it. And even the need to congratulate her husband's sister once or twice a year turns into a real problem, conflicts are so acute.

The reason for this situation is a banal misunderstanding of the parties, unwillingness to accept each other's position. And the injured party is usually the husband. Let's try to understand what is behind this misunderstanding.

A husband's sister can treat her brother differently. First, she can associate herself with her mother (older sister or simply more mature as a person). In this case, she will treat his brother gently, indulgently and allow himself to interfere with his life. The degree of this intervention will depend on its tact and on how much it is allowed to do so. Also, the husband's sister can project the image of the father to his brother, trying on him as a defender. Consequently, she will claim her rights to participate in her life, while not taking into account his changed marital status. Often such a situation in the wife is associated with total egoism, but sometimes the sister-in-law simply did not have time to realize all the changes. Another problem of this situation is that her husband's sister continues to use his things and money, not even considering his brother's wife. Remember, as they said - "sister-in-law". This is the side of the question: the sister of her husband still believes that she has the right to use the brother's money (his apartment, car, dacha, etc.) as his own things. Her position is easy to understand: she used to do it, and is not going to change her habits for the sake of some "extraneous" woman.

The most neutral option is a friendly relationship between a sister and a brother. But in this case there are conflicts, most often because of banal jealousy. Moreover, she can be jealous as a sister of her husband to a new woman in her brother's life, and her husband's wife to relatives in general and to a sister-in-law in particular.

Is there a way out of this situation? I would like to say that there is, but this is not entirely true. In order to avoid such a development of events, it is necessary that both sides of the conflict abstract from emotions, which is almost impossible. And yet, at least try to take a step towards each other: to talk, to try to understand, to identify the most acute moments. This must be done, otherwise one of two things will happen: either one woman will lose her husband, or another - a brother.