Strictness As a Personality Quality

Strictness as a person's quality is the tendency to closely monitor the quality and accuracy of the performed actions without deviating from the sample.

Severity is a resonance with the heart of another person. Strictness is limited by love. It is necessary for a person to violate the moderate, reasonable limits of punishment, and his actions will be called otherwise - rigidity, severity or cruelty. Love is the limit of rigor. A loving person can not be tough, severe, and even more cruel. The right to be strict must be earned. Once I asked a seven-year-old son: "Do you understand why I punish you?" "Yes," he answered. "I guess I should not have done this?" I asked. "No," he retorted, "you're doing the right thing." You punish me because you love me, so that I will not make myself or others bad. The child realized that Papa's punishment is a manifestation of love.

The right to strictness gives mutual love. If you look at the severity of the wider, not only as the education of children, then a strict person can become if he wishes other people good and happiness. However, this is not enough. I did not make a reservation on the account of mutual love. You can not punish people who are indifferent to you. For example, while subordinates will not have respect and sympathy for the boss, until his location is valuable to them, and the distance from him is unpleasant, until then, any form of punishment will be perceived by them not as rigor, but as tyranny and severity. Punishment without mutual sympathy undermines the authority of the leader and shows that he does not understand what is happening. For example, A.V. Suvorov had a personal relationship with each of the fifty thousand soldiers. He approached the soldier and asked: "Well, how did the son recover?" Or "Pavel, what is written from Ryazan?" The soldiers adored their commander, and his strictness was perceived only as a desire to bring them home safe and sound. In this strictness should be shown not to a person, but to his actions.

Love and rigor are manifested simultaneously. Often parents want to be conceited in children, enjoy them. The selfish desire to receive pleasure from the child deprives parents of rigor. They are afraid to tell him a word across, they suffer all his indecent deeds. When a person truly loves, his heart requires a strong and unshakable strictness about the object of love, makes him openly tell him the whole truth. This is the real strictness, infused with love. The boss, who loves his subordinates, can be strict with them. In his team, the iron discipline is precisely because he loves, appreciates people and behaves with them strictly, for he fears that they will not do themselves harm, do not spoil their reputation and do not lose the right to work in this collective.

There is an amazing regularity: the more a person loves, the more strict he is to the object of love. Why is this happening? Because strictness wants the object of love to be true to this love, appreciated it and most of all in the world would be afraid to lose it. For example, the more a father loves his son, the more strictly he treats him. Wishing the son of good, he fears that he did not deteriorate under the influence of the street. A close person, showing rigor, impregnated with love, has an incredibly powerful effect on another person who, in turn, loves it. But in order to possess the power of rigor, one must truly love.

Unlike the exactingness that manifests itself in the task, rigor is detected when the result is received. If the exactness is asked the question "what needs to be done", then the severity is interested in the question "how did". For example, exactingness says: "We need to submit a quarterly report by the 15th day of the month following the reporting month. The reports should contain the following forms ... Responsible executors ... "The fifteenth day passes, but there is no report, they submitted it ten days later. If you closed your eyes - then it's not rigor. If he chastised, threatened to deprive the prize, broke the balance and asked to remake - then, he showed strictness.

Unlike rigidity, strictness, as we have already said, is filled with love and respect for people, it is softer and warmer. Severity can be even cheerful, if the boss in a joke form makes a "swagger" to the subordinate for the mistakes he has made in his work. She seldom reaches real punishments, limiting herself to reminders and threats. The stiffness is not a cheerful character, it does not shine with humor. Rigidity is cold, calm and serious. Her threats should be treated with attention, for as a rule, they are followed by implementation. With the educational purpose, rigidity can make strong physical remarks. From rigidity, people run, but for rigor keep.

Severity in the family should be specialized. For example, a woman, if she does not want to raise a mama's little son, a weak-willed, spineless and unhappy person, should not raise her son herself. This is the prerogative of the father. Strictness about the boy suggests the possibility of making mistakes. The boy must learn to overcome difficulties, be ready for testing. It is important not how many times you fall, but how many you will rise. The man has the understanding that the boy needs skills to overcome life's obstacles. Like a tart, he, no matter how much he did not kick life, returned with the same force to the original joyful, equilibrium state. A mother may not understand these tricks of the science of life and begins to spoil her son, that is, facilitates the father's tests. With such pity she causes harm to the child and destroys his fate. Women's nature can not calmly watch how the son feels about the performance of the task assigned by the father. Therefore, the mother should stay away from the upbringing of her son. To love and care for him - please, but to raise a son is the responsibility of the father. Giving the son the opportunity to learn life lessons, the father thereby gives his mind the opportunity to ripen and "build up the muscles." There is such an anecdote: Mother decided to keep her son in strictness from now on.
- Where are you going? - She asks. - Where I want. "And when will you be back?" "Whenever he pleases." "All right, just look, not a minute later."

If a father spoils a son, then he is spoiled by his wife, which means that she lacks rigor in her relationship with her husband. And here there is an interesting phenomenon. To be truthful with your husband is to love him. When a woman loves her husband, she can be strict with him, and then the husband will be strict with his son. Strictness does not live beyond love. In the absence of love, you can only "get" children and subordinates petty quibbles and nothing but rejection, do not receive in return. The girl is clearly brought up by her mother. Strictness for the girl is manifested in the process of teaching her correct behavior, explaining all the subtleties and nuances of interpersonal relationships.

Strictness has its own secret doors. If you know where the key lies to them, it becomes clear that the husband is strict towards his wife outwardly, and she is to him internally. Internal rigor is much stronger than the external. Therefore, the rhetorical question "Who is the master of the house?" Becomes irrelevant - the wife keeps her husband in "jagged" mittens. And the strength of her strictness comes from love. When a wife loves her husband, she takes responsibility for him. It is worth it to act immorally, shamelessly, in a word, it is not right, as his wife immediately reveals the harmful essence of his deed and shows that in our family this number will not pass. The woman acts in such situations extremely resolutely, boldly and inexorably. Men prefer to avoid such an unpleasant situation for them, because they are afraid to see their wife in this state. Therefore, a wife can calmly show rigor when raising her husband, provided that she has the power of love for him.