How to accept, understand and love: advice of a psychologist

If you go to the mirror and look attentively at the reflection, the question is "who am I?", So it's time to figure it out. This will help to establish or even change your life, become happier and look at the world around in a different way. How to accept, understand and love? Psychologists have a lot of advice and recommendations in this regard. Let's consider a few basic steps towards yourself.

Important Basics

First of all, you need to understand what it means to "accept yourself." This does not mean a throw from extreme to extreme: from a heap of complexes and uncertainty to self-admiration and ascension into the category of saints. Accepting yourself and your life is first and foremost to realize the full value and uniqueness of the body and soul, every moment and place, the person and the object, and also to understand your importance in this cycle of the universe. Sounds complicated and incomprehensible? In fact, everything is simple, if you decompose into points.

1. The unique person

How to accept yourself if there is no compliance with generally accepted norms? The thing is that the world is changeable and one should not change oneself, blindly following trends and fashionable trends. Today in the trend sports and healthy, tomorrow from the covers of magazines will be smiling plump and lazy, and the day after tomorrow some other.

If you do not live your life and do only what everyone does, you can easily lose yourself. It is very important to remember that each person is unique. Do not put a cross on yourself, only from the fact that in appearance, behavior or character there are no qualities that should be. And they should be, in general, just because someone said so. Looking in the mirror, it is worth remembering that the person in the reflection is unique, unique, and already this, at least, is interesting.

2. Beauty is different

Having dealt with the uniqueness, you can go to the next item - the exterior. Are these beautiful bodies, faces, hands and feet beautiful? Of course yes! And nothing else! The color of the eyes, if you look closely, is so deep and bewitching. Hair so beautifully frames the face and emphasizes femininity. The body, although not perfect, but also looks very good.

Accept yourself and do not forget that beauty is very different. Remember some of the African tribes where women beat their teeth or put scars on their bodies to be beautiful. To the European it seems strange and ugly, and on the black continent this is the height of perfection. So what seems disgusting to someone else will look perfect. Beauty - this concept is not absolute, many-sided and multifaceted.

Well, if these beliefs do not work, then - go ahead for the beauty! Exercise room, beauty salon, clothing store - anything! The main thing is to not lose yourself in the pursuit of beauty, and when making a trendy hairstyle or trying on a trend dress, do not forget about the inner sensations. What happens if you remove this outfit and wash off the paint? Under the bright and beautiful wrapping remains the same beauty, as without it.

3. Advantages and disadvantages

Having dealt with the exterior, you can go to the beauty of the inner. How to accept yourself, if there are only drawbacks?

First, people without virtues simply do not exist. Everyone has something to talk about and work on.

Secondly, is there really so much bad and so little good? You need to take a sheet of paper, draw it into two halves and divide all your qualities into positive and not very good. Do it in a calm and quiet environment, so that no one interfered, and nothing distracted. Then, for each dignity you can praise yourself or, even, reward. For example, pamper yourself with a cake or a fragrant tea.

Now, we turn to the list of shortcomings. It is necessary to include objective criticism at full capacity and to analyze each point. Is this a flaw or just seems so. For example, the directness and simplicity of a person in different life situations can be both good and useful quality, and completely inappropriate. This ambiguous character trait can not be undoubtedly ranked as a flaw. And so on in the same spirit. Having thus worked out the entire list, you can make sure that everything is not so bad, and that there is no huge "black list". And if some shortcomings still oppress and do not give rest, then you need to select them and work on their elimination.

4. There are no comparisons

How to accept yourself imperfect, if everything around is so good, beautiful, and smart? Very simple! It is necessary to stop comparing yourself with others. You need to learn to cross out of your mind the thought that someone has longer legs, thicker hair, slimmer waist and so on. Then we remember the first and third point. Each person is unique and unique, but not perfect. Comparisons have no meaning. They only develop insecurity, envy, and others that do not benefit anyone's feelings and thoughts.

5. Delete the excess

Very often a person does not accept himself just because his environment does not allow it. Do not sacrifice your inner sense of comfort and confidence for the sake of someone else. On the contrary, it is worthwhile to conduct an audit in their relations with others. Anyone who does not accept or respect as a person must be immediately deleted from life. "Good" advice of the best friend about appearance and love, if analyzed, may not be so sincere and good. And the statement about the "second half" is just an attempt to retain or subordinate.

The people around must accept two truths:

1. There are no halves, quarters and so on. Every person is integral and self-sufficient.
2. Each person is unique and unique, interesting and beautiful, and you do not need to change it. If interested, talk, and if not - go.

In addition, there are amazing people who are always crying, whining and literally "pulling" life energy from all the others. Such friends and girlfriends with prolonged communication can simply dip into depression, from which it is then very difficult to get out.

And one more category of "unfavorable communication" is those who assert themselves at the expense of others. If the girlfriend gives advice on how to make eyelashes as long as hers, or how to become as fashionable as she is, then, most likely, this is not a sincere desire to help, but an attempt to emphasize one's own peculiarity by belittling the virtues of others . Such people are also not suitable for long and close communication, otherwise you can earn a lot of complexes and uncertainty.

6. To love and be loved

How to love yourself? The advice of psychologists at this point is the same as in all previous ones - to be convinced of their uniqueness, originality, beauty of the internal and external, and those who do not agree with it, should be excluded from the circle of communication.

There is only one important nuance. Love, as is known, is not subject to reason. It is impossible to sincerely and truly love someone forcibly, even yourself. But there is also a pleasant news - the love of a native is inherent in nature. It is already there, just under the influence of some circumstances or people this important feeling has hidden somewhere deep inside and it must be extracted, revitalized and filled with strength.

It is not necessary to try to love yourself, but it is necessary only to stir up those feelings that already exist. And here the tips set forth in this article will come to the rescue. Evaluating all the dignity, making sure of its beauty and uniqueness, and cleaning up your life from unnecessary people, a person will resurrect the lost sense of love for his own.

7. Different emotions

Another very important rule: to understand yourself, accept and love can and should be in any emotional state. Absolutely everyone is sad or sad, any person can get angry or just "be out of sorts."

Negative emotions are also part of the inner world. If you want to cry, then this is what you now need the soul and body, and do not be afraid, shy, etc. Of course, there are life situations where it is necessary to contain emotions, but after that you can hug your favorite pillow and shout to her, whatever you think, or narevetsya in plenty.

Any feelings are natural and they do not need to be suppressed. If some seem too much, you can work through this separate issue, but do not forget the first point - each person is unique, and an emotional portrait is an important component of this uniqueness.

Little assistants

Help, take, understand and love yourself can simple things that are now available to everyone:

1. Camera. Take more pictures. Do not like the result? Then show photos to a large number of people (for example, you can put it on a social network). Immediately, point two will work: what seems to be ugly to one, for another it will look just perfect. And if there are strong doubts about photogenic, then make a portfolio from a good photographer. The professional will be able to emphasize all the best and dispel doubts.
2. Mirror. Look at your reflection and you can and should often and, necessarily, with love. After all, only in the mirror you can see the dearest, dearest and dearest person - yourself!
3. A diary. Writing down all your victories and defeats, successes and doubts, thoughts and experiences in a regular notebook, you can analyze and ponder them, see in a completely different light. If you reread individual fragments after a while, it will help to get answers to various questions, including understanding yourself, your behavior and emotions in a particular situation.

Summing up

If after reading the article and following all the recommendations, there is still a question "who am I?", Here is the answer: a clever, beautiful, wonderful person and an interesting person!

Only so and nothing else! So say the leading psychologists of the world, and experts of this level can not be mistaken.