Existential risks of choosing a teacher's profession

In this small work, we will attempt to consider the relationship of existential experience associated with the situation, the beginning of the person's starting the process of choosing the profession of the teacher and the specifics of this moment of self-awareness associated with the emergence of a sense of purpose. We will try to consider the point of this choice, more precisely to simulate some conditional duration, the algorithm of the situation development, the experience of the "here and now", the structure of the moment of professional self-identification, find out some approaches, try to find out the specifics and dramatic aspects of this moment.

This profession, the work of the school teacher, has unique features in our view precisely in the context of the issues of being, or rather, the existential aspects of the existence of the teacher's personality phenomenon, the problems of the deepest links of the essential and professional self-development of the teacher. It would also be interesting for us to find approaches to identifying the initial patterns of the influence of the teacher's personality on the strategy of shaping the internal processes of children's self-development, first of all creating the prerequisites for spiritual motivation for the self-development of the students themselves.

The problem of psychological adaptation to the profession exists for both a beginner teacher and a teacher with a long record of work.

The main motive for self-identification when choosing a profession is difficult to track, it is often beyond the limits of self-reflection and arises on a latent level.

At the same time, the often visible linkage of motivation to a hereditary or externally introduced moment of self-identification is simply a launch, a manifestation of a person's already existing border readiness for the work of the teacher. It can be said that the specifics of the teacher's work on the suggestive level already exists in a latent form until the moment of its disclosure or the person's realization of his vocation.

In our opinion, the moment of accepting the choice of a teacher's profession is connected at the subjective level not with the experience of various humanitarian attitudes of "utility" or any other social reflection. Rather, on the contrary, it can be assumed that any profession connected with communicative specificity, especially having communicative duties in its very basis, can be chosen precisely on the principle of suggestive, unconscious consent of a person to take part in activities originally rooted in the existential foundations of being.

The feeling of existence can not be experienced literally, or at any accessible level of self-reflection, or emotionally, this is what M. Heidegger described as "presence" [4]. The presence, which only indirectly can be ascertained by us again, not by the fact of experiencing, but only by the peripheral vision, always "before" and "after", but never "in". The very moment of choice is in the border zone, more precisely, if we imagine a boundary of perception that has two sides (like any boundary), then the very moment of the origin of the selection process is in a conditionally speaking "terminal" zone, the boundary of our subjective attention accessible to ours Consciousness at best as some kind of indirect presence, flickering, attracting our attention with its novelty, its difference from the usual psycho-emotional background, the feeling of being.

The motive of "inclusion" of the subjective consciousness of a person, his problematic awareness of his professional affiliation, specialization, can occur only when the information is transferred from the "external", to the "inner" side, which is already remotely accessible, for us. The very moment of crossing the conventional width of the border can be regarded as a no-man's land, an inaccessible zone, this is the most important moment of choice, the middle of the border line.

This is not what Karl Jaspers called "ciphers" [5, p.56]. Cipher can and should solve, and hence the cipher, this is the first clash of the subject with what provokes him to attention to a certain internal problematic, in fact, what is called suffering, the shadow gap, the factor is nothing, emptiness. The loss of the habitual attitude, even for a moment, is a breakthrough of pure existence, the touch of Lachesis, since it is precisely the unknown, becoming an unknown fact, gradually emerging from beyond the other side of the boundary state, the point, the image of the binding of reflection, without the subsequent disclosure of this cipher, is a prognostic Model in a collapsed form. This model exists, of course, in a schematic form and is experienced as an impersonally experienced horror, mixed with joy or fear. It is no more and no less, as soon as a collision with an unknown, like a clash that has become known by the fact of its uncertainty.

The moment of experiencing without the reflection of experience, this is what is called "presence". And what is the projection of this presence can be called as "co-presence" - the fact of the awareness of the problem without the possibility of its understanding and comprehension, without the strategy of rational analysis. M. Heidegger writes in his work "Time and Being": "To admit the presence means: to withdraw from the secret, to bring to the openness" [4, p.394]

The moment of choosing a teacher's profession is impossible without the existential co-presence of the cipher, as the indefinite duration of latent, hidden existential suffering and the experience of the transition phase to the primary intuitive feeling, in other words, the self-manifestation of this cipher as a cipher.

And here, already at the primary level, the true nature of the individual manifests itself. This extreme transition, the state of weightlessness is experienced as a loss of support, the habitual vital basis. Already at this level, the person chooses, makes the primary, most often unconscious choice, dictated by his essential qualities, the genetic memory of his ancestors, whether to take these new opportunities, accept the challenge, or tear it away, as imposing too high requirements for social responsibility.

The key to understanding the very fact of a person's choice of the profession of a teacher is the specifics, or rather the uniqueness of the situation from the point of view of the subject himself. This is a certain convention of the duration of the period of the indirect, implicit presence of the boundary, indirect because of the uncertainty of the very concept of subjective time, more precisely, the transition through it from the darkness of the implicit to fixation on the fact that something already exists in the darkness.

It's about perceiving the threshold of awareness through the first touch, the co-presence of intuition with its ontologically necessary cipher. The boundaries of the indirectly sensed subjective time, more precisely the period itself, or the point of inclusion in the final analysis, into a sense, into a sense of necessity and the inevitability of highlighting the problem. This, in fact, the transition from eidetic uncertainty to a discrete, and therefore a fixed phase, as a real cipher of being, as a symbolic image. This transition to the possibilities of already semantic decoding, deciphering, approaching the sensation of even some fatal inevitability of this professional choice, the longer, the more painful and passes with the greater intensity, with the greater psychoemotional tension, the more complex the creative structure of that supposed activity that a person chooses Intuitive level.

Intuition is, in fact, coexistence with the presence of existence, the pure moment of contact with existence, the essence of which reflects the middle of the middle of the border, the middle of the inland space, the substantial embodiment of the nature of the border state itself.

So, it can be assumed that professions related to the basic concept of duty, ministries that are associated with the fulfillment of hard but socially necessary duties, and therefore significant and important for preserving the society in the process of time, professions that resist the destructive influence of time can not be selected Without special extreme conditions, even if a person can not track them at the level of reflection. The moment of a specific choice of the teacher's profession (consideration of other professions in the context of the system analysis of typologies of subjective situations goes far beyond the format of this article) is impossible without a suggestive forecast, the subsequent attempt to decipher the cipher.

Here, in no case are we talking about the analytical and logical aspects of rational activity, which may precede or follow the subsequent choice. Moments of pure extra abstraction, information from outside, nothing to do with states forming the first impulse of volitional activity have no. An alien experience, or even a prior experience of ancestors, is not a personal experience of human activity, it is a chance, nothing more. For the very moment of choosing a profession, the paradoxical contact of the unheeded with the experienced is important, and what may not be experienced, what can not be experienced makes it almost impossible to see the boundaries of one's own feelings.

But, nevertheless, this border is, it is that adjacent nobody's land, neutral territory between the ultimate, pre-threshold dislike and the feeling that this border exists side by side. This is the "metaxia" between the absolutely impossible perception of eidos outside their existential path of transcendence, incarnation (and this is in fact the sophistical moment, the moment of the eidetic state, the passage of the boundary of Sophia, its subsequent incarnation), and the sense of eidetic contact , The mysteries of the coexistence of meaning and, most importantly, the sense of belonging to meaning.

The zone of this border area is the more dramatic, the more difficult is the predicted level of obligation, which has already been laid before any conscious motivation. Actually, this "code", and there is some forecasting, in the language of the Romans, "amor Fati", a love of destiny.

This love is essentially a stay, the acceptance of fate, within the time neutrality according to I. Kant: "According to this, the pure form of sensory contemplation in general, the form in which it is contemplated, will be in the soul a priori." [2, p.96] This pure form of sensuality will also be called pure contemplation. The choice of a teacher's profession, as private, of course, a case of choice, can lead a subject to the most complicated frustrations of the stay near the border, the state of presence next to the code without the ability to guess it easily and immediately. This was perfectly known and described at the level of the genius mythologeme by Franz Kafka in the story "Before the Law" - the image of a man striving to enter the gates of the law, to approach pure existence. Kafka writes about a man asking a gatekeeper to enter the gates of the law. But the gatekeeper does not allow to pass. After a person tries to find out whether it is possible to pass later. "Well, it's possible," the gatekeeper answers, "but not now" [3, p.97].

Kafka very laconically expressed the image of the boundary of knowledge, which opens in its entirety only after the death of a person and after a long, long life expectancy, but the paradox of the situation is that the gate is open, always open, and only the person himself, afraid of warning the guard of the gate, Can enter into them.

The alternative to this severity, the "narrow path" in death, as the limit (according to Kafka - impossibility), is the illusory ease of being, characteristic of choosing a "broad path" in the Christian context, the choice of occupations where comfort and "success" are a pseudo paradigm, and Where the possibility of sacred humility is by definition rejected by man on the hypothetically subjective level already considered.

Frustration, the necessity of the presence "inside" the zone, the zone between the darkness of absolute ignorance and the twilight darkness of dawn, includes special knowledge; This knowledge, of course, has nothing to do with reason and traditional understanding of what such a reflection is, a knowledge that can be defined in the context of the Kantian understanding of the concept of mind [2].

The combination of our ignorance with the knowledge inside the cipher leads to a state of unconscious suffering. Outwardly this can manifest itself in unmotivated anxiety, the state of convolution of internal psychological time; It is a combination of a sense of joy born of eidetic experiences of contact with the boundary as a form-forming form of our psyche, and horror from the same fact. The fusion of joy and horror is the strongest experience, but it is the most unintelligible of all internal states, it is this unnatural connection that is the meaning of the border states preceding the conscious choice, this is the "narrow path" symbolized in the pre-Christian times by the myth of clashing rocks , The passage between Scylla and Charybdis.

The premonition of fate, its preventive, prognostic acceptance is laid on this neutral territory, at the point of "zero", this is the very zone of suffering, the carrying of a personal cross precisely because here the person encounters the expectation of the unknown, by his intercession without intervening.

The mind knows, the intellect can guess. Reason is a system of riddles, a labyrinth, and the way of unraveling the coil is the longer, the greater the risk.

Positive motivation, what is called constructive activity, conscience, all this is only an external drawing of the most complicated state of existence of existence in us, it is like a touch of stretching. Therefore, the profession associated with the field of communication, especially communication, associated with the concept of teaching, with the transfer of creative experience, by definition can not normally not be experienced by the subject as problematic already at the latent level of the suggestive forecast. Hence, the higher and more complex the level of specificity of the proposed activity, and the teacher's profession can be referred to the most complicated, the higher the level of extremism, the problemativeness and rigidity of the person experienced, albeit at different levels of the latent choice of this profession as such. This is a special specific suffering, which can later be projected onto the explicit psycho-emotional sphere of conscious reflexion. We do not always have the qualities of attentiveness to such processes. In fact, the "collective unconscious" of K. Young, the integral species sensation of himself as part of the human egregor, the feeling is essentially impersonal, and yet, at the perception boundary in the "metaxia" zone acquiring a vague, indirectly perceived personified aspect of existence. It is a close insight, literally an extremely concentrated examination of oneself, a scanning of the sense of self, adequacy and self-identification every moment of being, attempts to get closer to the intrinsic essential roots of one's personality, actually humanity itself as the original givenness. All this is the basic practice of self-development of an individual, an endless approach to the purest aspects of existence, creativeness, life on the edge of your own abyss or already in it, all these are the necessary professional qualities of the teacher.

The experience of examining the problem of existence, the endless attempts to reduce the path to it, and hence to one's own nature, to one's own being, can not be interrupted, it is part of any work related to communicative aspects of activity, a unique subject experience that is needed by a teacher, without which neither Choice of profession, or subsequent professional activity. Experience is often dramatic, sometimes even tragic, again because of the inherent profession of special obligation experienced by a person long before a conscious decision-making.

This feeling is immanently inherent in all, but there are professions where it is impossible to jump imperceptibly through the experience of secret, sacral fixation, stopping, stasis, the silence of some agreement, the contract of intent is just beginning to realize the very need to choose.

Of course, the leap will occur, but only when there is a latent election of this obligation to choose, when a person passes through co-presence with sensory boundaries, when he experiences this moment of pure, sterile horror of non-being. Existence is the being of pure eidos, like the eidos not covered by transcendence. This is the disclosure of his, eidos, into the world, this is the moment of actual dying alive, only then is the formation of motivation felt as an intuitive aspiration, a kind of spiritual passion. This is what LN Gumilev called passionarity [1], the energy impulse embodied in the subsequent volitional activity.

The formation of the will as an aspiration to choose is impossible without this previously experienced fixation, stopping the objective time on the purely internal time of the person's personality. You can not be born without dying; The psyche has a unique ability to synthesize the opposite tendencies in the choice of the very possibility to choose, at the modeling level of the process of model formation and the components of choice. This inner dramaturgy is manifested by the contact of intuition with the noumenal factor of the primal and introducer character, which is the inner side of the perception boundary. Here there is a transition of the monolithically original pre-boundary nature of the eidos to another principle of its discreteness, objectification for us, that is, the cipher of being, or, in other words, the beginning of cognition, the beginning of the outflow from the abyss of unknowability. Actually, we are talking about the logos, the version of the eidos, its fall into the world, this is the very moment of the cipher - the combination of the original eidetic nature with its own discrete, localized projection into soma, the substance of matter as such. The cipher in essence is that two-faced Janus, a door that can only be opened from the outside and never from within; The cipher is the semantisation for us of the inherently inscrutable nature of pure spirit, its discretization, its adaptation to the laws of our aspect of being, the acceptance by it of forms, if not already accessible by its original essence, of already contemplated, adherent forms of touching the edge of intuitive possibilities, as a sort of semantic image , The sacral sign of the half-manifested, that sign which, by the very fact of its manifestation, already makes the psyche fix its schematic character, seeks to guess in this semantic unit the Its predictive meaning, the model of the future with all its probabilities.

This moment of guessing, peering is in our opinion the most unique level of the experience of choice, the experience of self-knowledge, the decoding of this binary cipher, occurs when a person is already clearly aware of the choice itself, but, again, returning to the above, there is a choice to choose, and he is The geological basis for deciding on the choice of profession, if we take our specific case under consideration. K. Jaspers says that existence is the true self-authenticity of human consciousness, and the unanticipated center of this consciousness, the source of objectivity [5].

Probably and quite possible the existence of special algorithms of contemplation, co-presence, a sense of "between," the existence within this right choice for each of their professions. If we talk about the stasis systemology, the logic of fixing the internal aspects of mindfulness, the typological map of the person 's latent ability to the very process of choice, then the patterns and specific features of the processes of experiencing choices, depending on the ethical component of this choice, can be revealed.

This experience of self-knowledge is necessary for the teacher because the daily experience of communication, communication with students, the constant need for self-esteem, self-control, is impossible without experiencing this dramatic level of being.

Communication with students is the communication of one existence with other existences. Naturally, the more and more deeply the experience of the teacher's self-knowledge, his ability to constantly self-study, the ability to accept the challenge of existence as the basic phenomenon of the psyche, the basis of its existence, the more chances that the teacher will generally become a professional and can help the students themselves experience this experience in future. This can be called the basis of education, i.e. Adaptation and preparation of students for a correct perception of new, and therefore inevitably, dramatic moments of their own development. Karl Jaspers says that for the yet awakened substantial consciousness, the existence of transcendence as such is not perceived as a cipher. This consciousness can not yet share in the symbol ordinary experiences, the so-called empiricism, and transcendence [5]. This suggestive communication of one unconscious with another unconscious can take place in a rather productive and non-verbal way as the true basis of the profession, the true basis of communication, the basis of mutual understanding. Formal schemes, public morality, or, more precisely, its formalized version or attempt with its help to correct personal or purely pedagogical problems of a child's personality do not work here. Norms and conventions that are not rooted in the deepest experience of the teacher, will never reach the addressee, the child, since they will not have a basis, an eidetic support for the teacher's true experience with the problematic issues on personal experience. Moreover, experience, not necessarily possessing the qualities of objectification or formal events as such, if we do not allow the moment that the very fact of development is also an event, regardless of the ability of the person himself to see this event fully.

This pedagogical contact is the basis of trust, the foundation of digestibility of information, knowledge; The true and sincere interest of students in the subject is impossible when the teacher ignores the problematic of the existential basis of the profession itself, the basis of the teacher lying and rooted in the person himself, his in-depth experience of researching his own personality.

Of course, in this short article we touched upon only a small part of the problems of the teacher's self-cognition processes and the drama of choice as such, here we pursued the goal only to identify the problem of choosing the profession, the qualities that are necessary to retain the choice. And also we were interested in the connection between the problem of the teacher's reflection and the problem of professional understanding between the teacher and students, at least at the initial level, what are the so-called "points of contact" between people, rooted in the innermost experiences of the human soul, its ability or Not the ability to withstand its own nature and, most importantly, a foreign presence in it, this soul, an existential principle.

Literature

1. Gumilev L.N. Ethnogenesis and the biosphere of the earth. L.: Gidrometeoizdat, 1990.-528p.

2. Kant I. Critique of Pure Reason. M .: Thought, 1965.-544p.

3. Kafka F. The process. Moscow: AST, 2001.-103s.

4. Heidegger M. Time and Being. M .: Republic, 1993.-448p.

5. Jaspers K. Philosophy. M .: Canon, 2012.-384s.