Do not try to please everyone - this is the way to failure

Was there anyone who liked absolutely anyone in the world? Hardly. And the Son of God had ill-wishers, so active that they decided to get rid of him by physical elimination. What can we say about sinners? However, there are people who want to please everyone. They want in this way to achieve the success that they take for the unproblematic advancement of the career ladder and the building of conflict-free relations with others. This method was used in everyday use caustic definition, as the ability to "get into without soap". Sooner or later the desire to please everyone all the same leads to a conflict, and its consequences can be unpredictably deplorable.

What does it mean to "like"?

When a girl talks about a young man that she likes her, usually she means a state of love based on some virtues (true or fictitious) of her chosen one. The reason for the appearance of tender feelings in early youth can be anything: a high level of intelligence, strong physique, a pretty face, a fashionable wardrobe, the presence of banknotes in the pocket and even some vice (for example, pugnaciousness, taken for boldness). In principle, the young men also talk about the same, they are more often than not a pretty good figure and a beautiful face, and they are all crazy. But everyone has different tastes, and, in the end, everyone finds a pair on their own. At the same time, young people, as a rule, do not aspire to universal love, they achieve reciprocal feelings more or less purposefully. There are, of course, those who put their skills to like on a systematic basis, but they are forced to apply a variety of tools, since no one has yet invented universal methods. Many living creatures like fruit or berries to taste, but when going fishing, it is worthwhile to take with them not the them, but a full can of earthworms.

The reasons why people want to like everyone

How successful this desire can be realized, the second question. In the end, every saint spends his strength, surrenders to many of his principles, speaks and acts sometimes against his own conscience, not simply because his nature is kholui. These are only means that serve a purpose. And it can be what is pleasing. For example, someone wants to feel their need and importance, and rely only on the opinion of the majority. Another simply fears loneliness, and instead of finding real friends (who do not exist much), he tries to surround himself with "good acquaintances". It happens that a person does not want to disappoint those who accept him for his supporter, or is afraid of a possible conflict, that's why he agrees. And there may be other reasons, such as a vague complex of guilt, low self-esteem, and the inability to truly love people (and even myself) and attempts to compensate for this wonderful feeling of covetousness.

Methods and means

This is a troublesome and difficult business. To earn the sympathy of people who sometimes have conflicting opinions and ideas about values, we have to look for "neutral lines" between the opposing "force fields". This is difficult, and the constant desire to maintain balance imposes an imprint on the character and behavior, and even on the appearance.

Paradoxically, but trying to achieve success in the easiest way, you have to work very hard. For such people, the recognition expressed in the pride of praise is important. It requires a high level of self-organization so as not to forget who, what and when it was said, otherwise embarrassment in the form of saying the wrong opinion that is needed at the moment is inevitable. And all the time you need to smile, straining your face muscles. And turn the neck in all directions. And to say only pleasant things. And never give up on assignments. And if someone asks for a personal service, with willingness and apparent joy to immediately grasp the cause. Gradually develops a special gait and some graceful curve of the back, which never passes.

In general, the horror.

Crash

He sooner or later comes. Usually the reason for the exposure is some kind of conflict that has escaped control and passed into a "hot phase". Each of the parties mobilizes all the reserves, while rightly considering this "in all respects a dear person" as an ally. And here it begins. One to support - the other will be offended. To declare neutrality does not come out either, then both sides will be dissatisfied. And then, when they find out the relationship, they can "take your soul" to a renegade, together hitting it. Understanding that the desire to all like it - the key to failure, often comes too late. A "pleasant person" is identified with a frivolous lady of the oldest profession. There is a collapse, in comparison with which any defeat in a private duel is an enviable share.