Why do people tend to change those they love?

We can safely say that each of us at a certain moment in our life has learned what treason is. At first you may think: "I'm not that kind!" Or "I would never do that!" But, in addition to physical deception, there is emotional infidelity. By treachery here we mean hiding from a partner of the lung, to nothing leading flirting and other secrets.

Dreams or real actions?

Perhaps someday you gave reason to flirt with yourself in the gym. You were pleased with the signs of attention from a stranger or a stranger, and you wanted to increase your own self-esteem in this way. Some people, having realized that small pranks can easily be hidden, go even further. They secretly from the partner spread their candid photos on the Internet, make acquaintances and, perhaps, have intimate contacts on the side. As you know, relations are built on trust, but most of us at least once in my life dreamed of someone else. Some of them still live in dreams, and some go on to real actions. But why are we looking for an explosion of emotion on the side, has nature indeed created us imperfect partners?

The choice among the set of theories

There are several theories as to why people change to their romantic partners. At the heart of all scientific research is one simple goal: to determine whether people are polygamous or monogamous. Next, you can get acquainted with some theories and decide for yourself which one is the more truthful.

What will our animal origins tell us about monogamy?

Man is a unique being, but, one way or another, he can be equated in his instincts with other animals. The hypothesis that polygamy originates in the wild is not new. Many scientists have long believed that man, like our smaller brothers, can also be governed by primitive instincts. Let's take a look at the trend in the animal kingdom and draw some parallels. If we proceed from this theory, the chances of monogamy are not at all high. In nature, there are about 5 thousand species of mammals, and only 3-5% of them associate life with only one partner. Among the "faithful" animals appear wolves, beavers, otters and some other species. But among our "brothers" of primates, monogamy is spread only by 6 percent.

From the point of view of evolution

A popular explanation for infidelity can be considered and evolutionary theory. Many psychologists have suggested that men tend to have extramarital relationships because of the male desire to procreate. From the point of view of evolution, both men and women sought to choose more suitable partners in order to give healthy and strong offspring. Eventually, the human species evolved, and the craving for "males" to find an attractive partner remained. Now people have officially accepted the institution of marriage, and treason is just an echo of the historical process.

Fathers participate in the upbringing of children

The human species is so unique that, in addition to mothers, fathers also participate in the upbringing of children. To a greater extent this is a matter of financial support for the younger generation, but an emotional connection is also present. In comparison with other primates, human paternal investments are traced to a greater extent. According to a social and evolutionary psychologist, a staff member at the University of Michigan, Daniel Kruger, people are special about attachment to their own children. But at the same time, man, like the vast majority of other mammals, does not remain faithful to one partner. This feature can be described as a "soft" form of polygamy, where most males mate with more than one female.

When a person falls into the vicious cycle of his own status

The following theory is more relevant to the field of psychoanalysis. And this idea is far from new. You probably heard that long-term relationships somewhat dull the feelings between lovers. Over time, the notorious spark that can ignite passion in partners disappears. Many people marry or are not married for love. Just somewhere deep in the mind settled the idea that this person will make your life "better", he is a good family man, the breadwinner (mistress) and will be an exemplary father (mother).

However, the same problem can be discerned in the eternal pursuit of people for prestigious cars and branded things. And a new shirt, and a vacation at sea can also make you happy. If this tendency has swallowed you, you are in a vicious circle, from which there is no escape. No one thing can satisfy your feelings in the long run. A car and smartphone in a few years will become hopelessly obsolete and will no longer reflect your status. That's why you will go to new purchases. The same is evident in the desire of some people to acquire new, younger and more attractive partners.

Treason as a desire to fill the void

The following theory explains the passion for sex on the side as one of the ways to fill emotional emptiness. In this case, treason can be attributed to the same category as the addiction to alcohol, drugs, tobacco, gambling, overeating and passion for shopping. Disorderly sexual intercourse in the same way derives a person from the subconscious sense of self-oblivion. They create dependence on the attention and approval of people of the opposite sex. Thus, the inner void is filled, and numerous lovers or mistresses relieve loneliness. However, most often this feeling is illusory.

It is generally believed that in this case only people who are dissatisfied with their marriage are deceived. However, in strong, healthy, love-built relationships, there may be a desire to have sex with someone else. Probably, this may be due to the idea of obsolescence of the institution of marriage as such. If a person decides for himself that a long-term relationship with one partner is nothing more than a relic of the past, he will change.

New social trends

In the last decade there has been a real social outburst that promotes polygamy as a way of solving many problems of marriage. People openly no longer accept the usual Puritan model of relations, based on communication with one partner. And this current was born under the general tendency of society's protest against the archaic idea of marriage. Many people are simply afraid of the prospect of living their whole lives side by side with one person, and many - and the very prospect of long-term relationships.

Boys and girls all later marry, they prefer short-term communications without any obligations. They do not want to perform a certain role, do not want to be dependent on a partner or get bogged down in domestic problems. Many do not want to have a common budget, and women tend to build a career, instead of giving birth and raising children. Everyone wants to live in comfort, without jealousy and resentment, no one wants to work on themselves for a strong relationship. It is much easier to openly position your polygamy, and this will immediately put off all obligations from you.

From the point of view of ethics and morals

When the newlyweds enter into marriage, they give each other vows and promises. However, in fact, these beautiful words can not be based on the principles of morality. Nobody has the right of ownership to someone else. We also can not make promises to remain with someone for life. Especially, as practice shows, in half of cases these promises are not being fulfilled. We can not dictate to someone what can be done, and what not. That's why the idea of putting a signature on a document and putting a ring on your finger on your partner contradicts our natural state of freedom. That's why the divorce rate is so high.

Conclusion

In sexual energy, a person draws inspiration, creativity and vitality. Intimate relationships expand the possibilities of self-knowledge and allow us to deepen the levels of intimacy. Trust in one person allows you to deepen the experience of love. Trust for a long period of time creates a sense of security and enables you to experience higher levels of the state of consciousness. However, in some pairs the space created around them can burst like a soap bubble. And from this no one is immune.