Formation of personality in crisis age

Age crises are turning points in a person's life, during which goals, values, and even worldview can change. In each such period, we part with the past and acquire new qualities and traits.

The first crisis occurs at an early age, when a little man gets to his feet and takes the first step. Now he is no longer connected with his mother, he becomes a separate person, before him opens the whole world. In a year the kid can not yet realize the scale of the change that has taken place with him. But he will not be any more like before.

The next difficult transition period is 3 years. The key words of this age are the exclamation: "I myself!". This is a very important stage, on which the formation of the child's personality goes to a new level. The child wants to be independent, he realizes himself as an individual and is ready to defend his borders.

Before the school children live another crisis, which is not so violent. At the age of seven, the child is to understand that he is no longer a child, children's toys are gradually beginning to fade into the background, the most important thing is learning.

But the most stressful period for parents is about 13 years. Yes, this is the most transitional age when a rioting teenager turns all the usual life values upside down.

The formation of the adolescent's personality is difficult and often painful. Yesterday's child is ready to consider himself completely adult, but still can not be.

Additional factors that influence the formation of personality at this age are rapid growth, maturation and hormonal splash. All this leaves no chance for parents to live a peaceful life.

Teenagers often do not understand themselves what is happening to them, they are full of conflicting feelings, desires, their mood changes instantly. Outbreaks of aggression can quickly turn into tears of remorse and self-pity.

How to help a child in this difficult battle for growing up? How to make personality formation less painful?

First of all, if earlier parents and children had good mutual understanding, it will not disappear. The foundation of good relations and acceptance, laid down in childhood, will save the child from disappointment in his own parents, will give him support in the new life in which he enters.

Parents should explain the adolescent features of his condition, answer all his questions directly and without constraint. At this age the child tries to know the world in all its manifestations. It is good, if parents are close, and can explain to him the subtleties of relationships between people, the difficulties and pitfalls of communication.

In this case, it is not necessary to radically restrict the freedom of adolescents. He must learn independence, and the task of parents to instill in him an understanding of good and evil.

At 13 years old, the opinion of an experienced and wise mentor is very important to a teenager. The ability to rely on the elder, cry and consult - very important factors that determine the formation of the identity of the "former" child. If he does not find a response from his parents, he will look for support in another place. It does not always end well.

Many parents dream of having their child share their experiences with them. But how to achieve this?

Mums and dads of grown-up children should always remember that the child can not be rejected, you can not turn away from it. Punishments should be, but they are designed to help him understand the limits of what is permitted, and not cause psychological trauma.

Excessive punishment can undermine the authority of parents in the eyes of the child, and he will no longer trust them.

If parents are open and sincere in their relationships with children, then the children will answer them the same. The sincere openness in the family, the ability to speak on any topic without bans and complaints is a condition for the painless and harmonious formation of the adolescent's personality.

Thanks to the atmosphere of mutual trust, the family becomes the place where the child will always find protection from any troubles. When a teenager knows that he will be understood and helped, he will come for advice and support to the parents' family.