Constructive, sharp, destructive is what? Of course, about conflicts!

Reproaches and insults, humiliation and anger, irritation and anger - these destructive emotions are present in conflict situations. From the behavior during the clash of opinions and from actions of both sides - slander, insults, dismissal of hands, neglect, anger - depends the result of confrontation.

On the reasons for disagreements

The dispute is a destructive conflict. Constructive dialogue can arise only during normal social interaction. The impetus for confrontation can be a variety of motives and reasons:

• Economic;
• Value;
• National-ethnic;
• Political;
• Religious;
• Personal;
• Others.

One of their sides is experiencing unfair actions - this is an object. The other side - the subject - commits acts that cause a conflict situation. Usually the reason for confrontation is a subject who performs various actions against the "suffering" side, who gives an inadequate reaction in response.

Types and differences of conflicts

Psychologists distinguish between two types of disputes:

• constructive;
• Destructive conflict.

With a constructive approach, there is always a way out of the situation, which will satisfy both sides. Thanks to the creative approach to solving the problem, mutual understanding and personal relationships between people are improved.

Destructive is a conflict that does not lead to a solution to the original problem. The inability and unwillingness to listen to the opponent, analyze his arguments, the installation of confrontation - all this leads to the destruction of relations.

A characteristic feature of post-Soviet culture is the habit of "dumping" its dissatisfaction with the immediate environment. The emergence of the "conflict chain" can begin in the morning in transport or on the street, continue at work and end at home in the family. Minor quibbles, shouts and accusations lead to a corresponding reaction: close people feel unhappy, nervous. One painful situation flows into another, emotions "explode" like a volcano, a break in the relationship is inevitable ... And just had to detach from the negative and not drag "rubbish" with them.

Why conflicts are sometimes useful

The emergence of controversial situations in any collective, in the family or at work, reveals contradictions and discrepancies between external, pronounced factors, and non-verbal, hidden information. Here are a few cases where this can happen:

• The education or life experience of the head of the team is lower than that of the employees;
• The intellectual level of the group is significantly different;
• Ignorance of methods of business communication;
• Setting for personal resistance;
• Aspiration to force communication methods;
• Discrepancy of goals.

Destructive processes do not bring joy, but sometimes they are useful: in a conflict situation, the internal contradictions in the collective, hidden disagreements and dissatisfactions come to the surface. If you apply methods of business communication, any conflict-destroying relationship can be translated into a constructive conversation. A destructive dispute is a struggle for power, it is anger, loss of face, tension, lack of solutions to the problem.

About constructive conflicts

The usefulness of this confrontation is that the positions of opponents are clarified in the process of discussion, rather than struggle and opposition. People are more clearly aware of their own arguments at the time of explanation to their partners. There are no cries, reproaches and mutual humiliation. The main part of attention of participants in the confrontation is aimed at finding ways to solve the problem, and not to suppress the opponent's personality. Elimination of the causes of conflict between the participants in the conflict of opinions normal relations are established, their positions with respect to each other are changing.

The causes of conflict in women and men are completely different. For women, personal needs such as salary, benefits, bonuses and leave are important. In a team with a depressing atmosphere or at high workloads, the representatives of the weaker sex "explode" first, but more quickly and easier to calm down.

For the male half, the power status, compliance of labor duties and rights, the presence of a certain form of subordination matters. In case of overloading and infringement of rights, men spend more time grumbling in themselves dissatisfaction, not splashing it in the team.

How to make business relationships constructive

Applying certain rules and methods of business communication, team members will interact as a single organism. In the past, the clash of opinions will disappear and a conflict like destructive is the method of the "tank", a method of war that brings ruin into the minds, families and business. In order to find a productive solution in a peaceful way, both sides should act as follows:

• Discuss only this problem, not individual qualities of the individual;
• Remember that partners are not enemies to each other;
• To restrain oneself from manifestations of anger, unrestrained anger, a desire to take revenge or punish;
• Force methods of struggle can only harm;
• Defending his own point of view, it is important to take into account the interests of the opponent;
• Interaction should be benevolent and open;
• Rivals need to tune in to understanding and interaction.

Strictly observing these rules and adhering to the framework of business communication, one can always find a way to get out of the situation. If one of the participants in the confrontation admits a gross violation, the whole process can get out of control and turn into destructive. This will not bring benefits to either side, and the contradictions can only intensify.