In such complex categories that are related to the human essence, nature, life circumstances, it is difficult to act as an expert and mouthpiece of the truth. Moreover, each person perceives fidelity in his own way. For someone, loyalty to the family is in the first place, and for its sake it is capable of anything. For another - loyalty to yourself and your beliefs. For the third - the service of oath (marital, religious or state) ... Therefore, if we take in general, then treason is (in the common interpretation) betrayal of something or anyone. But what about the multidimensionality and multifactoriness of human behavior and beliefs?
It is difficult not to fall into relativism. If we consider that treason is a preference for the interests of one's own or others', but not the one to whom loyalty was promised, can it be unequivocally condemned? Most often, we are faced with these issues in family relations. More than half of marriages and unions have faced and will face such dilemmas. In society, it is considered that treason is a sin. On the topic of whether you can forgive, whether you need to glue together the broken, written thousands of pages. But most often in the heat of emotions the main thing is forgotten. Treason is a particular manifestation of the fact that everything is unsuccessful in the union. Judge for yourself. Most marriages are concluded at a fairly young age, when the spouses have not yet had time to get to know each other. They grow, realize their life programs, attitudes, ideals. And gradually it becomes increasingly clear that instead of being happy together, they torture each other morally, sometimes physically. Even the fact that there is a need to hide some part of one's existence is an alarming signal. This is a sign that not all needs are met in the union. That there is no trust and openness. Treason is always pain, disappointment, a breach of trust. But when I hear about the vile "he" or the insidious "she" - betrayed, deceived, let down - I often have a question: was the other half so blind that I did not see that everything was not all right? After all, no one else can appear where the two are well, where they make up harmony. Anyone else, the very possibility of this arises only when there is a crack. Most often this "third person" is not to blame for anything: it just turned out to be the catalyst of the collapse, which was already brewing. So let's not lie to ourselves. Treason is not a bolt from the blue. Rather, it is the last lightning strike during a thunderstorm. People tend to blame others for their misfortunes. But let's look at the situation soberly: are we right to expect that someone should subordinate his desires, aspirations, interests to us? And why do we need loyalty?
Let no one agree with me. But I am deeply convinced that treason is an exaggerated evil. We tend to unite in order to feel our belonging. And that's why those who violate these unwritten laws, who want to be themselves, are stigmatized. Conformism is much simpler. "I love the other, but I will not leave my wife, because ... (children, flat, sorry, she has no money or, conversely, I will not)." And let's think about what kind of wife? How should it be hard to realize that the one who should be support and support, renders it (if at all capable of it) only under the onslaught of conventions? What is not sincere, that does not work from the heart.
It is commonly believed that spiritual treason is a kind of platonic equivalent of sexual. These are feelings experienced in relation to someone, to whom we should not feed them, because they are connected, we can not, we have no right. Stop! After all, in fact, the problem is not feelings. Man is born free, and any convention is nothing more than an attempt by society to limit it, to control it. Therefore, I am convinced that treason is not love on the side. This is not a sexual act or platonic admiration for someone from outside. In my opinion, much worse sins in this are lies and abuse of trust. That is worse for everyone, the entire triangle is not the very fact of its existence, but that someone remains for a long time in ignorance of the true state of affairs. Change can be understood and forgiven. Moreover, it can be a lesson for the future, which will show what was lacking in this union. But a purposeful misrepresentation, deception to forgive is much more difficult. True love does not tolerate violence and restraint. A lie poisoned her on the root.