Matchmaking: customs and rituals

There are moments in a person's life that are especially important to him. One of them is a wedding. The importance of this event is emphasized by the fact that it begins to be prepared long before the significant date. For a long history of the existence of the institution of marriage in Russia arose a lot of traditions associated with the organization of the future wedding.

In connection with this, it is especially worth mentioning such a ritual as matchmaking, the customs of which are rooted in folk culture. The fact is that the fate of future spouses often depended not so much on mutual feelings as on the decisions of the parents of the bride and groom negotiating with each other. The matchmaking ritual contributed to this. In general, he performed several significant functions. With his help, the girl's relatives were informed of the intention of the potential spouse to take her as his wife. Further, the parents of a possible bride should either agree or refuse to matchmakers. In addition, the traditions of matchmaking assumed a public announcement of the intention of the two families to be related to each other.

In general, the ritual was as follows. To have a matchmaking, the customs instructed the young man to first inform his parents about the desire to marry the girl he liked. Without enlisting their consent, he could not have played the wedding. Then the future bridegroom was to send in the house of his chosen wife matchmakers, who were relatives of the groom of a male, and necessarily already married. Usually this role was played by a father, native or godfather, as well as an uncle or an older brother. However, sometimes, when the matchmaking was conceived, the customs allowed the participation of women, for example, the godmother or aunt. Finally, in Russia also resorted to the services of professional matchmakers or matchmakers, who were skilled in arranging weddings and painted the dignity of their clients in every way. Sometimes the power of the groom's parents came to the point that they chose the future bride for their son, especially not interested in his opinion. The criteria for the consideration of candidates were the welfare and social status of the girl's family.

After the choice was made, the matchmakers beautifully dressed up and on the best horses went directly to the matchmaking. The customs relating to this trip were rather strict. So, the road to the bride's house should not be direct, but roundabout. In addition, in the way the matchmakers, if possible, should not stop anywhere and talk to no one. At the same time, according to the beliefs, the best time for the wedding ceremony began after sunset. In this case, the likelihood that someone could jinxize the event, was reduced to a minimum.

Entering the house of the parents of the bride, the matchmaker should sit down on a strictly reserved place, which immediately showed the hosts the purpose of the visit. However, to pass immediately to the matchmaking was not accepted. To begin with, the conversation concerned weather, harvest, etc., only then, with the help of hints, the intentions of the guests were indicated. At the same time, the potential bride was called non-direct, for example, "kulichka", "chicken", "goods", and the groom, respectively, "hunter", "cockerel", "merchant". Finally, the owners expressed gratitude to the matchmakers for the high honor they had given and offered to pass to the table, behind which the immediate negotiations about the wedding were already conducted. The decisive vote with consent or disagreement on marriage belonged to the girl's father. In his absence, his brother or mother. Leading the conversation, matchmakers, on the one hand, tried to present the groom in the best possible way, and on the other hand they tried to find out everything possible about the bride. The girl herself during such negotiations was obliged from time to time to appear in the room, pouring drinks and demonstrating her most beautiful and rich outfits. This gave matchmakers the opportunity to better see the bride, to follow her behavior.

As a rule, the first time an agreement on marriage was not concluded. The head of the family paused to wait if there would be a more favorable offer from some other groom, and also, finding out, in turn, about the already existing contender. It happened that the matchmakers could point to the threshold. In this case, the guests, leaving from such ungracious hosts, closed the door of the house with their backs. This action was designed to dodge luck from an inhospitable home and prevent the prompt marriage of the daughter of such obstinate people. If, after the preliminary matchmaking, the parents of the bride were not against marriage, matchmakers came through a certain time for the second time. Here there was already quite a business conversation, in particular, the so-called "line record" was compiled, which was a kind of prototype of a modern marriage contract. It stipulated the dates of the future wedding, the amount of expenses for it, the number of guests, the dowry of the bride , etc.

When both sides agreed on everything, the girl handed over to the severed handkerchief, which served as a kind of pledge of their future relationship. Swat received a wraparound bread wrapped in a kerchief, which he then showed to the whole village as a sign of a successful outcome. On this very ritual of matchmaking was coming to an end. Now the families of future spouses could move on to the next stages of preparation for the wedding.

As we see, customs of the bride were regulated in detail in customs. All the rituals associated with it were strictly observed for a long time, first of all, in peasant families. In the privileged strata of Russian society, these traditions died out faster, mixing with foreign patterns of behavior.