How to get rid of jealousy, until the relationship is not spoiled completely?

Jealousy is the most dangerous feeling in love, matrimonial relations. No wonder many people are trying to find the answer to the question: how to get rid of jealousy? She oppresses not only the object of jealousy, but also the jealous man himself. And it was not for nothing that the word "object" was inserted here. When we are jealous of our beloved, at this moment we treat them precisely as an object as property, as a thing, not as a person.

Jealousy can manifest itself in different ways. Someone disgusts the idea that a loved one was (a) with someone else is close and then tries to touch you ("foo, what a shame, do not touch me!"). Someone reacts quite differently: this feeling manifests itself on a deeper level of awareness of the problem. We are jealous not in an intimate sense, but in terms of friendly relations ("how could you turn to someone with a problem when I have you, the other half!"). In this and in the other reaction our attitude to the beloved person as to the object is manifested. In the first we try to punish him, as if he did something dirty, and we are above this, we do not approve of his deed. In the second - we try to protect his freedom, keep him on his leash. We would be happy to stop, but we do not know how.

No matter how jealousy manifested itself, its action is destructive, dangerous for the relationship. Here you should seriously and urgently think: how to get rid of jealousy!

In this issue, the approach to solving the problem will depend on the nature of your relationship with the partner: from their duration, from trust, from the openness of partners to each other.

How to get rid of jealousy, if your relationship has just begun. Alas, if you managed to prove yourself in all its glory as the most unrestrained jealous, the relationship will fall apart. It remains only to hope that next time you will somehow restrain yourself ... Although there may always be a person who will like your constant anger and suspicion, groundless accusations that have no end ... Do you really believe in this? Stop it! Concentrate your turbulent energy in a positive direction: take care of your life, about its success, about yourself, your beloved, instead of constantly concentrating on the behavior of another person. You will see, this trick will work with the exact opposite, than what you have done so far. To you will be drawn, there will be no desire to change your half.

If you have long-term (more than 4-7 months), a trusting relationship, but you are still flushing with jealousy, it's not pleasant to the partner and is already tired of it. He is already glad to be able to do something from what he is accused of, so that he does not attack him. In this situation, the fight against jealousy will begin when you realize its causes and share with the partner. If this is due to its success and your understated self-esteem, you need to tell the partner that you are just afraid of losing it, because he is the most worthy of men (the most worthy of the women). No matter what he (she) answers, you will feel better. And then, in love no one is immune. It's silly to expect that he (she) will promise to love you forever and not go to another (another) and keep his word. Nobody can give such a word. Love comes and goes, leaving room for a new love and pleasant memories, a pain of disappointment and a desire to do things differently next time. So our advice to you is: enjoy your wonderful relationship, do not spoil them, do not push them to completion. Otherwise, it really will happen.

In family therapy, women usually sound the alarm themselves from their own jealousy and come to a psychologist with the question: how to get rid of jealousy of her husband? This is just the hardest part. After registering the marriage, life is so consumed that the value of the husband as a person becomes "invisible to the eye", is not perceived by the wife so sharply. The same applies, by the way, to your husbands! Once you focus on his positive qualities, instead of following and suspecting all the time, it will become easier. Remember the folk wisdom: a stupid woman watches over a man, intelligent behind herself. Only to a loving, happy and dear wife his husband will return with pleasure and in a jump.

And the last common advice for everyone, how to get rid of jealousy, remember that your loved one has the right to communicate with anyone, has the right to choose with whom he should be, because he is a person and will never belong to you. If you approach him, he will stay with you. If not, it will go away, and it will be for the better, because you did not suit each other. Everything is very simple. Only our emotions complicate everything. Redirect them to the right track.