How to develop self-confidence?

An insecure person lives in a limited reality, he does not know how to properly assess the situation, he blames himself for every offense and reconciles himself with the thought that he is not worthy of the best. The question of how to raise self-confidence, sometimes visiting a person who doubted the value of one's self, already in itself becomes the cause of bashful meditations about the frailty of existence: "I do not deserve happiness, good work, high pay, etc., knowing about everything This, I have no right to think about a career or a happy life, but I think - and for this I should be punished. "

Approximately this is how a lost person thinks, because the lack of faith in one's own abilities moves along with a low self-esteem. Most of our complexes originate in childhood, and the situation is also with the lack of faith in themselves and their strengths. According to researches of scientists, confidence / uncertainty is not an innate quality, which means that we are able to influence the level of self's value.

If you have already thought about how to develop self-confidence, then you can talk about the beginning of the path to "healing": as psychologists say, to realize that there is a problem means to take the first step towards eliminating it.
What do experts advise in such cases? How do they recommend overcoming their fears and doubts? What is advised to do in order to increase self-confidence?

• First of all, you should, if possible, protect yourself from communicating with those people who cause you to think about your own limitations and unworthiness. If in a society of a certain Mr. N you experience a feeling of awkwardness, inexplicable shame, confusion, just get rid of the need to contact him (of course, if possible);
• The next step is to monitor the self-confident people and copy their behavior. Choose a person who values himself. Look closely at it more closely, you will probably notice that it is not ideal, it, like most of us, has shortcomings, but their presence does not deprive a person of faith in their own strength. He is not afraid of his weaknesses, is not shy of them, and therefore those around them ignore. It's like in a well-known postulate: if you want to hide something from others, put it in the most prominent place;
• Thinking about how to develop self-confidence, you certainly believe that you need to concentrate on eliminating your own shortcomings. And there is some truth in this, but what if you concentrate on your strengths? Write on your blank sheet of paper your dignity, ask the opinion of relatives. Read it aloud the next time, when you are going to scold yourself for another trifle;
• Cease to criticize yourself for every "fault", criticism should help clarify the cause of what happened, rather than form a consciousness of yourself as a total loser;
• Think about your future, what do you want to achieve, what do you dream about? Develop a plan to achieve what you want. Start small, praise yourself whenever you can do something important. When you realize that you can achieve positive results, success will not turn away in a big deal. Do not despair if something fails. As Thomas Edison said , the surest way to success is to try again and again;
• How to develop self-confidence? Learning to forgive ... yourself: past mistakes often do not allow us to move on, the fear of stepping on the same rake paralyzes us. From time to time meditate on the past, but do not let it control you. Feeling guilty, shame also will not allow to achieve success. Get rid of them. We can not change the past, but we can make mistakes from the lessons of life (and this is our experience, our past);
• Do not blame other people for your failures, so you are depriving yourself of the opportunity to be the master of your life. Successful people take a firm stand and change themselves, which enables them to keep their balance when our life falls into a storm;
• Try to assess the situation from different points of view. The view from the outside is much more objective and reasonable. So you will learn to be more tolerant of others and more soberly assess your actions. At the same time, you will learn to take constructive criticism and use it for your own good;
• Rejoice in life, smile at the sun's rays, walk barefoot in puddles, walk with children - inventing the attributes of a "real" life, we are mistaken and go away from reality. Take time for yourself, listen to your favorite music, do your favorite thing - we have only one opportunity to live, whether it is worth spending this time on depression and spleen?

On the question of how to develop self-confidence, there is no single right answer. We are all different, each of us has his own life scenario, his own fears and doubts. But even this is not the main thing. The most important point is: do we really want change, are we ready to open the door to happiness? In most cases, life drowning in their own hands ...