What is more important? Victory Or ....

"Unless YOU defeat YOURSELF, it is unlikely that you will defeat an opponent"

D.Loer

You, probably, will surprise, that though I and the sports psychologist, I do not put the main objective high indicators of our sportsmen. My sincere desire is that they learn to be internally free from the result, so that the children learn to enjoy life, despite the defeat in the competitions, do not fixate themselves on their mistakes, so that they value themselves regardless of the number of points scored. After all during the whole period of work, I often observe the same picture: after a string of lesions, many people have unbelief in themselves, too strong a clue for the result and from this even more psychological tension. And once the tension grows, the nervous system is exhausted, and the chances of being effective in the game are significantly reduced. Yes, and God be with them, with the results .... But the child's self-esteem, his psychological health suffers , and the depressed mood, self-doubt and overstrain directly affect the physical health.

If you put psychological (and physical) health and a high result on the scales, what will you choose? .. I choose HEALTH. That's why I propose to put the cultivation of a persistent character in the first place, in the head of which one can put a healthy attitude to the loss and the ability not to scold yourself for mistakes, but to draw conclusions and correct them in the future, respect for the rival (no envy, hatred) Because it is the opponent that allows you to show the dignity of the character. Intemperance, hysteria, anger - all this is a sign of self-doubt and too strong a desire to win, to be better than a rival. And now let's think, why should we be better than others? To whom and what do we want to prove? Is a confident person will prove that he is better than others? Rather, a confident person will be calm, merciful, patient, respectful, benevolent. But when we are worried that others will say about us (and suddenly they will think: "weakling, stupid, loser"), this is where the problems begin. And who creates these problems? Our mind! We compare ourselves with others, putting ourselves an assessment of "I'm better or worse", instead of comparing ourselves to what we were in the past (which is much more objective and gives us the opportunity to soberly assess whether we are progressing or not).

We told ourselves that for some reason they should not just do what they liked, but necessarily "skip" someone. This idea is propagated by the society intensely. The pride of the school, city, country should be the champions! And about human qualities there is no question. Maybe this champion with a bad character, greedy, rude, etc. And if you think about it, you can evaluate yourself by human qualities? Maybe we should be proud of the guys kind, sympathetic, courageous? And where does the sporting result come from?

Once I wanted to be the best sports psychologist in the Samara region. Now this looks ridiculous to me. What for? To whom and what should I prove? To whom is it important, I have a scientific title, prestigious diplomas on the completion of courses or not? Perhaps more important is how much as a specialist I can help athletes, and what kind of person I am ...

I'm sure that our ambitions only spoil life. Ambitions are forced to shift the focus not on the pleasure of the beloved cause, but on the achievement of the set result, and consequently be disappointed when the result is not achievable.

You've probably heard the phrase often used by psychologists, as well as many philosophers and sages "be here now," and this is really a formula for a healthy attitude to life. Live, be able to be in the present moment, give yourself completely to him, instead of running ahead and drawing in the imagination terrible pictures of failures. Watch yourself, very often we think about future problems that have not yet happened, or we are scrolling around the situations of the past, at the same time fearing somehow what happened. Many now live like this, and this is a constant overstrain and, consequently, an inadequate response to what is happening. And for the complete absurdity of reaction to the loss that happened (for example), imagine that somewhere in a distant country there is a war and some child just wants to survive, and somewhere hunger and another child have nothing to eat, and somewhere else an earthquake .... And now compare your situation and the situation of those people ... And after that you are not funny to get upset and "get killed" because of some loss? Yes, losing is wonderful, this is a lesson for us, this is a test of our character, this is an opportunity to see ourselves real, this is an opportunity to train ourselves to be persistent in stressful situations ... And if you often think about it, then over time, this attitude towards failure will temper the character And prepare for really difficult moments of life, where you need optimism, self-control and self- confidence.

Some people, having been on the brink of death, miraculously surviving, for a long time look at worldly failures as little things in life, because they do not go in comparison with really serious problems ... Do we really need to get into really dangerous situations to understand that everything The rest of what we were upset about - is it really nonsense? Maybe just remember in time that the main thing is not victory, but our attitude to life, the ability to enjoy simple things and appreciate life.

I propose to let go of ambition, to accept that a sporting result can be achieved, or maybe not, and this should not overshadow our life. But if we have a positive attitude and belief in ourselves, then the probability of success is much higher. So, to learn to enjoy the process of playing (a favorite business) is more important than expecting a result.

"Release" the result, be here and now, more often recall that in fact the main thing in life and then you will see how confidence, joy and tranquility will make life happier, and improving the sporting result will be a by-product of such a positive attitude to life.