I do not want to sleep with my husband. I do not want intimacy with my husband, what should I do?

The candy-bouquet period is always beautiful: long romantic walks, kisses under the moon and calls every ten minutes on a mobile phone. Enjoying this wonderful time, we are sure that it will be forever. But gray monotonous life, which later hangs over relationships, is able to absorb even the most sincere and passionate love. Women at the same time often do not want intimacy and try to avoid it by any means.

Main reasons

I do not want to sleep with my husband ... This problem is often affected by various forums of concerned ladies. Their unenviable marital status is commented on by anyone who is not lazy, often mocking a cold woman or accusing her of frigidity. Instead of reading all this nonsense, it is better to contact a psychologist who will tell you about the main reasons for reluctance. Experts identify several pitfalls that stand in the way to your "sexual" happiness:

• Stress. They do not allow the wife to relax and tune in to the right wave.
• Diets and contraceptive pills. They can lower the level of libido.
• Some traits of the husband's character: coarseness, passivity, untidiness, non-observance of hygiene.
• Hormonal reorganization of the body in connection with the birth of a baby.

In these cases, the problem can be solved by canceling the hormonal preparations, waiting for the period until the health is restored after the birth, just talking frankly with the man about his way of life, habits and character. If the cause is not found, and the woman continues to say: "I do not want sex with my husband!" - In this situation you need to understand in detail.

If the husband is not macho

Perhaps the problem lies precisely in this. A woman can not admit to a man that his sexual abilities, alas, do not give her the desired pleasure. When they first met, the girl did not notice it, since romance concealed much. Going to the cinema, candlelit dinners and "hugs" at every step smoothed out sharp corners, and you did not attach much importance to incompatibility in bed. But now the shroud fell from his eyes. And the woman is not quite comfortable next to the chosen one. And she mentally asks herself the question: "I do not want my husband ... What should I do in this situation?"

Psychologists advise the girl to tell her half right, that she does not like it. Together, the problem will be solved. If the reason is absence of excitement, you can ask your husband to pay more attention to the petting. Let again seduce, become playful, passionate. The man is obliged to remove old family swimming trunks, in which he is accustomed to lying around in front of the TV, and to dress in frank and sexy underwear. If the lady is not satisfied with the duration of the sexual act, her chosen one should bring her to the peak of enjoyment in another way: oral caresses, for example.

Incomprehensibility

This state is familiar to every woman. It is 100% sure: the process is far from stunning and enchanting, but where concrete refinement is required, it can not be understood. She just does not like to go to bed, and she sighs doomed: "I do not want to sleep with my husband ..." As a result, it's easier to refuse than to puzzle for the unfortunate and annoying moments of physical intimacy.

In this case, the lady still have to find the time to sit down and figure it out. Since besides her, no one is able to solve the problem. If the husband is correct, attentive, gentle, accurate, loves the cooking of the wife and respects her mother, then the girl needs to look for the causes deep inside herself. Perhaps she just needs a break or a variety in postures and places. Then, so that there is no obstacle called "I do not want intimacy with my husband," you can give up to the sea or to the mountains. Changing the familiar atmosphere, new acquaintances and adventures can revive the old passion and protect the couple from unwanted divorce.

Perseverance

The couple did not agree in temperaments: he wants several times a day, and she and two sexual acts a week is absolutely enough. And when the husband again "wishes" his second half, she wants to run, where the eyes look. The wife does not ask herself: "Why do not I want a husband?", She firmly knows the answer to this question - got it. Yes, it happens often. The indefatigable rabbit in the person of the faithful sticks to the woman, even when the surrounding reality does not foster physical intimacy: she is busy in the kitchen or preparing a report for the conference. Or just not tuned to go to bed here and now. In addition, the girl offends that they look at her only as a matter of lust, ignoring her two higher educations, Shakespeare's knowledge of the original and written philosophical articles.

There are two ways out. The first - the wife refuses, but risks six months later to find out about the presence of a lover's mistress. The second is to agree, relax and have fun. And this is the best way, because with age, such moments will appear less and less often. And anyway, rejoice that they want you. Many women can only envy such a state of affairs.

Lack of

A woman who used to repeat: "I do not want sex with my husband," often something is missing. Psychologists argue: lack of communication can lead to the fact that feelings between spouses cool. In this case, the couple need to spend together as much time as possible: for the weekend to go on picnics, at the same time take a vacation and time off. If there are children, then it is better to leave them with the grandmother, so that the husband and wife can fully enjoy the common pastime.

A man at the same time should take an active part in his wife's private life, share her interests, support plans, engage in a common hobby. Do not be scared, no one forces the head of the family to embroider a cross, but it's entirely within his power to see the romantic melodrama together. In addition, this will lead the lady into rapture, she will take a new look at the relationship in marriage, especially on their physical side. The elect should take an active part in household chores, go shopping together and help children with lessons. Thus, he will relieve her everyday life: the lady will not get tired, the desire for closeness will arise more often in her case than before.

Complexes

They have evolved since childhood and prevent the beautiful half of humanity from living and loving. Any physical flaw causes a wife to feel embarrassed about her body. And on the next bachelorette party to say to friends: "I do not want to sleep with my husband!" A girl can avoid intimacy if she has a small or too large chest, a scar on her stomach, or curved legs. To convince his wife that she is loved the way she is, it is sometimes very difficult. If the lady is so fixated on the problem, you can correct the flaw by surgical intervention. Pomomzhet and consultation of a psychologist who will teach a woman to love herself no matter what.

A chill in the relationship can appear even if the girl feels the lack of her sexuality, beauty, seduction skills. She is ashamed of the flabby tummy and silently envies the tanned beauties, on whom the gentleman stare. To feel confident coquette, a lady should do sports, eat right and enroll in geisha courses. This will radically change her attitude to sex - in a positive way.

Lover - is this a way out?

In this way, many women try to cut the Gordian knot . It seems to them: if the husband does not cause the proper emotions and sexual attraction, they should be looked for on the side. And then, as if by magic, a new employee comes to the office: smart, beautiful, elegant, smiling. The husband obviously loses in comparison with him, especially if you remember the dump of dirty socks under the bed or his habit of picking in the nose. Therefore, the new employee as a magnet attracts the girl, promising her paradise mountains in the form of care, love and, of course, high-quality sensual sex.

The woman thinks: "I love, but I do not want a husband." I will not get divorced, but I can make myself happy. " But is it worth it? Many ladies, having tasted the forbidden fruit, say - no. First, we need a strict conspiracy, which takes a lot of time, effort and money. Secondly, remorse will not be allowed to sleep at night. Thirdly, the lover will be the same man, prone to throwing socks. Therefore, it's unprofitable to start a cavalier on the side.

Four justified "no"

I do not want to sleep with my husband ... How often it can be heard from friends, co-workers or even from my own mother. The problem is as old as the world, and often the woman in it is not to blame. Agree, it is one thing to go to bed with your soul mate, when you do not bear the weight of cares about the house and children. And quite another thing, when you break into a million parts, in order to have time to go to work, and to feed the family, everything is to be changed, ironed and cleaned for the last. After such a marathon you just want to fall on the bed and not move. At the same time, her husband's attempts to seduce cause nervous cramps and attacks of aggression.

Sexologists say that there are four arguments for the benefit of women who do not want to forcibly make love:

• Dullness of sensations, which causes depression and discontent with oneself.
• Decreased libido, the development of frigidity.
• The appearance of gynecological problems.
• Loss of attractiveness.

And so that this does not happen, try to find the cause of your coldness and solve it by the methods described above.

What if I do not want to have sex with my husband?

If none of the above does not help, you need to go the other way. The most effective, trouble-free and useful method of psychologists called the ability to fall in love with a chosen one again. It is rather difficult to do this, especially when ten years of living together and a couple of children in the next room. To make it work, psychologists recommend to focus on the positive qualities of the spouse. The wife should pay attention that he has very strong sexy hands, but close his eyes to the dangling "ears" of fat on his sides. Although hint at problems in the figure is absolutely necessary. It's better if you attend the training together.

"I do not want my husband what to do?" - she asks herself. At the same time he does not suspect: it is only worth remembering the candy-bouquet period, as a feeling of warmth and tenderness will spread throughout the body. She needs to re-imagine those moments when he looked in love with eyes, kissed his hands, made an offer, was on duty at the windows of the maternity home and started salutes at the birth of the first-born ... These memories will make it clear that there is no one closer. Love will be reborn, and with it the passion, the desire for intimacy, and the thirst for new sexual experiments.