Disappointment - Paying For Idealization

DISAPPOINTMENT

No illusions, no disappointments.

Japanese proverb

Disappointment as a person's quality is a tendency to worry about unfulfilled expectations, hopes, dreams and the collapse of faith in someone or something.

Disappointment is a bitter taste from melting idealizations. A fool's life is a collection of disappointments. It would seem that there are innumerable faces and colors on the life carnival, but the algorithm of frustration in life is trite. A person sets himself the wrong main goal or something highly idealized. By sacrificing and neglecting many things, he goes towards his own goal or burning, passionately desires to possess the object of idealization, hopes for him, expects something good and bright from him, believes in him. In the first case, we observe a senseless waste of time, energy and mental forces on the movement toward something that will not make him happy. In the second, what is extremely disliked by the laws of the universe is a violation of the equilibrium state. Any deviations, excesses and distortions excite equilibrium forces, and they punish the person for the idealizations sitting in his mind.

Disappointment is the delights of a fantasy, idealized mind. Simplicity does not disappoint. If people attach excessive importance to food, sex, money, material goods, equilibrium forces tend to return it to an equilibrium state. Idealized friendship - get betrayed by friends, idealized sex - live impotent, idealized car, apartment, money - no problem, possess, but only without health and alone. Disenchantment takes possession of the person. In a young age, an unreasonable person follows the chain of disappointments. He filled the cones, healed a trauma and went looking for the same rake. Igor Guberman accurately noted: "For the joy of love feelings once acute pain, we are so afraid of new hobbies that we wear a condom on the soul." In mature years, when it is not possible to change the situation, disappointment becomes a manifested quality of personality.

The greatest depth of disappointments a person receives from what he is excessively attached to. A young family introduces me to her five-year-old son, and my mother says: "As soon as the son was born, our life ended. Now we live only for his sake. " The child hears it, and in his mind the thought stuck in his mind: "I'm the main one in the family. My life is the greatest value. " As he grows up, he affirms that he is the center of the universe, that the sun would not rise in the morning, whenever there was me. Growing a double egoist who is not used to thinking and caring for someone. There comes a time when he creates his family. The mother who dedicated his life believes that if she lived for the sake of her son, it would be fair if he lives for her or, at least, takes care of her. But the son does not even have a hint of such absurd thoughts. At best, I will congratulate you on your birthday and on the 8th of March. Mom experiences terrible disappointment, falls into depression. Now disappointment becomes the hallmark of her personality. Such disillusioned women at the age of forty are millions.

Often they understand the reason for their frustration with life, but nothing can be fixed. Life is written in black, the years are gone, the old head and the young shoulders. And what was the cause of disappointment? Well, it turns out, the child does not need to be loved? It is necessary, even as it is necessary. But in the context of the upbringing of children, the main goal is to set not material, but spiritual goals. Happiness is spiritual. Find the spiritual in the material, it's like that there is earth in the hope of getting iron for the organism. The material goal for the child is health, education, material well-being and a good spouse. A woman in her nature tends to live for children, take care of them. But upbringing is not just feeding, drinking and sleeping. Education - is the development in the child of virtues, that is, positive qualities of the individual, this is the art to give as much spiritual taste as possible to happiness. The son must understand the taste of happiness from the grateful smile of a loved one for the care shown to him.

Instead of declaring that he is the navel of the Earth, one must teach the boy responsibility and caring about others. For example, a mother says to a five-year-old: "I always forget to wash my hands after a walk. Can you remind me when we return home that we need to wash the pens? "For the child this is a game and, at the same time, the education of responsibility and caring - two undoubted merits of the person. Gradually bringing up the son's respect for her interests, worries and anxieties, Mom will release into life not an inveterate, self-serving egoist, but a responsible, self-confident, caring man who will never leave his mother.

A campaign not to its goal is also fraught with a cruel disappointment. No, to set a spiritual goal for ourselves - to cultivate kindness, modesty or self-control, the man considers the construction of the house as the main goal of life. He works for many years, like a slave on galley, and, finally, completes the house. Further lives to equip it, then furnish furniture. Building a house, he tried to prove to himself and others his importance and importance. Another's goal comes from outside - under the influence of stereotypes, false beliefs, beliefs and the influence of others. The house is there, but there was no sense of happiness and will not be. People build grandiose plans, dream, form idealizations in their minds, and then, having reached the "desired" goal, they understand that they have received a fake, a surrogate of what they dreamed of. They begin to see that the effort was not worth the time and energy. Having destroyed life on this constantly-demanding repair and cares house, a person at the end of his life will be disappointed.