Culture of relations: what does it mean to be engaged?

Matchmaking, engagement and wedding are wonderful, beautiful rituals that have come to us from the depths of centuries. Every nation has its own character. However, there is something common.

Tili-tili-pastry

So, what does it mean - engaged? When a pair of lovers decides that they are perfectly suited to each other, that is why you can formalize relations, they inform their relatives, friends and relatives. Or - it was, for example, in the 19th century - a young man asks his parents for the hands of their daughter and obtains consent. This is announced to the girl, and if she does not mind, the couple becomes the bride and groom. That's what it means to be "engaged" in the culture and traditions of the Russian people. Engagement could take place in a narrow family circle, and could turn into a big, cheerful holiday. The man, from this moment officially considered as the future husband, received access to free dialogue with the elect. He could go without hindrance with her for walks, to accompany to the theater.

On "collusion" the guy presented his beloved ring with some pebble-talisman. The girl gave up in return, and this mutual exchange signaled to others about their feelings. After such ritual, the young people more responsibly treated each other and behaved more discreetly with the familiar surroundings. After all, what does it mean to be engaged? This means that the lady now does not fit to flirt and flirt with other gentlemen, to sit day-day with her friends. And the groom, instead of giving special attention to extraterrestrial beauties, should spend more time with the bride.

Of course, now times have changed immensely, morals have become freer, and people - more civilized. And not always the future spouses before the wedding have the opportunity to be near, and not every couple, strange as it sounds, requires mutual respect. And yet, since a man and a woman are engaged (which means they are engaged), therefore, they count on each other, see one friend in another, like-minded person, sexual partner, loved one, potential parent of their children. By the way, in the West, the betrothal couple was almost considered a husband and wife!

Contracts and contracts

The engagement usually negotiated the nuances of when and where to conduct a wedding, how many guests to call, what gifts to exchange, where to live young, and many others. Another century and a half ago, during the collusion, it was discussed who to choose the parents to be seated, the size of the ransom for the bride and the dowry, which the groom will receive for her.

What does it mean, engaged, a girl could feel very soon, because Her one was no longer allowed to "merrymaking" or girlish party parties, but forced to sit for days on the needle and embroidery. The bride was supposed to have a fair supply of clothes, towels, tablecloths, bed linens and other things, and it was her own who most of all had to make this. However, today's newlyweds do not have problems easier. Even with the financial assistance of relatives for their wedding, attire, etc. They need to earn their own money. Of course, if they are not the children of millionaires. And on the modern engagement are discussed and details of marriage contracts, if any , they are going to conclude. But most often on this day people are just happy about the birth of a new family.

The test of time

And yet, how to understand if the girl is engaged or not? Very simply: yes, if they made a proposal to her. No, if she did not hear the cherished words, although she lives with her boyfriend for six months, a year, and two. True, collusion does not always mean official formalization of relations. Usually, it takes some time between the engagement and the wedding, so that young people can establish their feelings or revise them. Not without reason after the application in the registry office wedding should be only a month. In general, young people can test each other and much longer, even for years. True, in such situations, love threatens to degenerate into friendship, fellowship, or melt completely.

That's so interesting the custom of the engagement and everything that is associated with it!