We overcome Children's Crises Playing

Swiftly flew the first quarter in the new school year: children grow, change, showing us new ones. It's good if parents grow older and a bit wiser to accept these changes and help children grow up.

Very often, however, another child's age crisis catches the parents by surprise.

"It was good and peaceful when the baby could not crawl," says the mother of a one and a half year old baby.

"He absolutely does not let his mother away and all the time he's getting somewhere," complains the grandmother of a one-year-old youngster.

"Calm kid turned into a rebellious tomboy", - complains the father of a three-year-old son.

"I do not want to study at all, I have to do homework together" - the main problem of leaving many mothers of junior schoolchildren on long-term leave.

"I broke off completely at the hands," - heard around teenagers.

And how difficult it is when the age crisis of one child coincides with the birth or crisis of another !?

And parents begin to cling to the idea that we should return everything back as usual, try to understand how to drive into the framework, how to make the child to be comfortable for education. They try not to fall into despair and not to blame themselves for their child is not what they expected. Where can we even think about how difficult it is for the child to be psychologically in this situation.

In this sense, we, the parents of the 21st century, are much simpler than the parents of previous generations, because we have available information about what will help us overcome our crisis.

But our parents did not even think about what is happening in children, as they faced a completely different task: to ensure basic safety of children in terms of food, a roof over their heads, and a more or less predictable future.

On the other hand, it is much more difficult for us, because to the modern parents the society makes much more demands than it was 50 years ago. One sensational "early development" is worth it! And, of course, all the least competent parents have heard about the "universal acceptance" of our sometimes monstrous (from the word "miracle") children.

How can we help our children grow up, while not getting along with them from the mind?

The easiest way to please a child and develop his intellect is to play with him! Play in what he wants, play with enthusiasm, with excitement, with childish pranks. Remember what you liked to play and spend at least 15 minutes playing with your growing up child.

It is much more difficult in the crisis moment for a child to really accept it as it is, with all the whims, fears and other not always pleasant emotions for us. And to accept the child's emotions is easier for those who are in harmony with their own feelings and emotional manifestations. Work on developing your own emotional intelligence, and then you can become the best teacher for your child.

It is very important for everyone, regardless of age, to be close to a person who understands, protects from all storms and misfortunes of life, believes in us, supports, listens and tells. In psychology there is even for such a person a reserved term: "a loving mirror."

Imagine how important it is for a child who is changing, looking for himself, so that you are near!

After all, the child still does not know anything about himself, he sees himself as he is seen by his relatives. By every appeal to him - in a word, intonation, gesture, even silence - we tell the child something about him.

See how much you manage to take your child.

To do this for the next three days, try to calculate how many times you turned to him with an emotionally positive attitude and how much with a negative (reproach, shout, criticism, criticism).

For positive treatment, put coins into a separate purse, for negative - matches. Just try not to do it in your mind, but really folding coins and matches into a separate place. The fact is that the subconscious can play a cruel joke with you: you will ignore undesirable actions and in the mind only add coins.

If the number of negative hits is equal to or more than positive, then you are not all right with communication.

And now close your eyes and imagine that you are meeting your best friend (or girlfriend). How do you show that you are happy that he is dear to you and close?

And now, greet your own child: in the morning, when he just woke up; In the afternoon, when he returned from school; In the evening, when I came to supper ... Do not be afraid to "spoil" it during these minutes, it is absolutely inconceivable.

Performing the two previous tasks, pay attention to the child's reaction, and to your own feelings too. Name these feelings for yourself, describe your sensations in the body (maybe you feel clamps somewhere, and maybe, on the contrary, "wings" grow), what thoughts you visit at these moments.

Support your child, tell him how much you love him, how you believe in him, how happy you are that he has you. Be interested in the child's life, his emotions, his friends. Sincerely listen, sincerely smile, help to look positively at the world, help to see in the problems of the problem, help to analyze and correct mistakes. Look for a way out of difficult situations.

Learn how to listen actively to your children (you can read about active listening in Y. Gippenreiter's book "Communicate with a child.") Or listen in free materials on the intellectual leisure club website.

And remember the wonderful phrase: "The child behaves as good as he can."

Sometimes (and in fact always) instead of tedious notations, you need to tear yourself away from your important affairs and trivialize your time to the child. Play and socialize with your children.