How to tell a child about the divorce of parents, so as not to injure him

What is good in divorce? Company. If you decide that divorce will be the best solution for your family, you are not alone: about 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. However frequent this phenomenon is, divorce raises many difficult questions for parents. How to tell the child this news? Who will spend more time with the child? And what happens when you are ready to start dating other people?

Talking with a child about divorce

Unfortunately, there is no simple way to tell your child that you are getting divorced. What was unhappy marriage for you could seem to your child a happy family. Even more likely, the child felt tense, but hoped that everything would work out. And that's the irony: you will have to work with your already almost-former spouse together, on the same team, to inform the child about the divorce.

What should I say?

It will be better if both parents tell the child about it together. The child will want to know the details of how the divorce will affect him personally: where he will sleep, whether he will have his own room and so on. Therefore, you need to answer all his questions. In no event can you blame someone for divorce. Do not lie to a child and do not say that nothing will change and everything will be as before, as he knows: everything will change absolutely. Instead, try to encourage the child and convince him that each of his parents loves him very much, will always be there if necessary, and that each of them remains his parent separately.

Joint care

Of course, joint parenting after a divorce is a difficult task, especially when there are questions about custody. The needs of each child are different, and when it comes to custody, it is these needs that should be in the forefront. Children should always have access to both parents, but stability plays an important role, that is, action in accordance with a specific schedule. The presence of clear rules and regulations in each of the parents' homes can have a beneficial effect on the child.

What you can not talk about

Your child loves both parents, and if you say bad things about your ex-wife, it will only hurt the child. You will have to bite your tongue and never say anything bad about your former partner, and you need to demonstrate as clearly as possible: you support your child's relationship with the other parent.