Self improvementPsychology

How can parents reconcile if they decide to get divorced?

Children are most affected by the separation of mom and dad, because these two people have always been the closest, loved ones and native people for the child. Naturally, right after receiving the unpleasant news from a boy or a girl (or a guy or a girl - the age here does not matter) begin to think about how to reconcile the parents.

Are the chances great?

Let's be frank: if the mother and father are serious about parting, and the application has already been transferred to the registrar, hardly any ways will help. Fortunately, there are exceptions when it is quite possible to save a drowning marriage. This is possible in the event that the decision of the parents was not considered and weighed, but rather eccentric, sudden and on emotions.

Loud cries of divorce, moving to the mother (your grandmother), battering dishes, tears, mutual disregard - no matter how terrible such things do not look from the outside, they can not be called true signs of the upcoming divorce. The scandals will stop, the emotions will subside, reasonable arguments will prevail, and the desire to part with the person with whom he lived for several years and made the child will disappear. Of course, in order to restore and return to the old track as quickly as possible, it is desirable to reconcile parents to children - after all, this is the main link uniting and bringing together both sides.

Do not inflate an elephant from a fly

Children are acutely aware of adult conflicts, especially if they are a mother and father. The latter may have simply quarreled, and half an hour later they have restored a good relationship, while the child is sitting in his room and is going through, thinking about how to reconcile the parents if they want to divorce, although they have a similar solution to the problem even in Thought was not. Surely not a single child, after being called by Mom or Dad, believes that they want to drive him out of the house. The same situation with parental internecine strife.

Adults often quarrel, and this must be reconciled. Over the long years of life and during the upbringing of the child, nerves become weak for most men and women. Everyone sometimes needs to throw out steam, and, unfortunately, most often "close at hand" are close people, so you have to break down just on them. However, today you will learn how to reconcile parents if they quarreled, and thereby help restore family harmony.

Creative approach to the problem

Find as many joint parent photos as possible and make in any video editor the simplest gluing of pictures and music. So you not only make the father and mother nice, but also cause them positive memories of the events shown. Prepare a romantic dinner. It does not matter if you tried to create a culinary masterpiece yourself or bought everything in the store, the main thing is that you make your mom and dad get together at the same table, and they themselves go somewhere - to their room or for a walk.

Make (for they will resist) them to look at some comedy. Themselves also stay, just choose a really funny film, ideally with romantic overtones. A joint view coupled with a rising mood will play a role.

Arrange parents a small idea - a sort of theater of one actor. You can dance, sing, tell a few funny or not very stories, etc.

Everything, now you know a few options, how to reconcile the parents, if they do not talk, resent each other and in every possible way conflict. The main thing is to show imagination and do everything with a soul. Even if the methods do not help, Mom and Dad will note and appreciate the efforts of their child.

Pressure on emotions

To educate parents or at least one of them (who, in turn, himself will go along with the second) can be simple, especially if you are a few years old. The younger the child, the more difficult it is for him to explain the reason for divorce, quarrel or parting. The kid will look sad eyes and ask parents not to swear anymore - everything, at least my mother is already melting.

Think about the cases when parents talked about the romantic part of their life - about dating, first date, funny curiosity, wedding, rest, etc. Then remind each side of these touching moments or ask them to tell you yourself. In the first case it will be ideal if you do not limit yourself to words, but show photos or videos made in those happy days.

Pressure on rationalism and logic

So, you know how to reconcile parents with creative and emotional methods. However, if you have long been no longer a child, the first two methods may not work. But the logical arguments and the search for a compromise will pass. If the parents quarrel or do not talk, it means there was a reason. First of all, it is necessary to find out and analyze it, carefully listening to each side - the versions will surely be different. No matter how old you are, you have a chance to become an objective "judge", if only because your parents are gushing with negative emotions and can hardly reason and calmly argue when it comes to quarreling and the second half.

After this, it is necessary to show the situation to both sides of the conflict. The main thing is that the quarrel was not so serious as, for example, treason - here not every woman will forgive a loved one. When adults understand that even a child understands the question better than they, they can wake up to common sense or conscience.

You can cheat a little: tell mom that father wants to make peace with her, but does not know how to do it, and then turn the same fraud with his father. As a result, parents will think that they are looking for ways to restore the relationship of the second person, and they themselves will meet each other. When thinking about divorce, it is quite possible to remind adults of red tape with papers, the division of property and children, the subsequent loneliness, etc.

Intimidation, threats and blackmail

In fact, this method is not very good, but when no other methods help, you have to use heavy artillery - in war all means are good. So, mother and father always love their children, sometimes even stronger than each other. If they suddenly realize that their child is ill, there will be a very real chance to reconcile their parents. They are divorced, just going to do it or just do not talk to each other - it's all not important. If they see that their favorite child is ill, feeling bad or depressed, they will unite to jointly solve the problem.

Naturally, it is impossible to do any kind of deliberately dangerous things with yourself. So they will send you to the psychologist rather than regret. Moreover, adults will begin to blame each other and exacerbate the situation. In most cases, in order to reconcile the parents, it is enough just to "be sick".

You can also hint to parents that if they divorce, you can do something with yourself. At the same time, in no case should you harm yourself - only words and intimidation, only theoretical threats. However, there is one nuance here: if it is necessary to keep mother and father together in such dishonest and unpleasant ways, especially if it is clear even to the child that they no longer feel each other's feelings, it may be worthwhile not to think about how to reconcile the parents, but about , How to stop being an egoist?

Prevention of divorce

As you know, with any disease you need to fight in the bud. In our case, they are increasingly scandals. Of course, quarrels, including regular ones, are not 100% guarantee of the upcoming collapse. Moreover, some couples support the light in a relationship in such a strange way. But it's better to protect yourself and not to give negative emotions and anger to break parents and deprive them of their former warm feelings.

Try to involve both your ancestors in your entertainments: joint walks, going to the store or cinema, watching movies at home, various verbal, table, card and many other games. Also, if possible, help the mother or father in the house, as sometimes scandals arise literally from scratch, for example, when both parties can not decide who is washing the dishes or taking out the garbage. You can easily make both the first and second, but you do not have to think about how to reconcile the parents, because there will not be quarrels. It is also desirable to bring and bring up some family traditions - they also unite mothers, dads and their children.

Love your father and mother and learn from their mistakes

Whatever methods of reconciliation of parents you choose, always love them and do not hide your feelings. Maybe Mom and Dad got a bit chilled to each other. However, if they feel your sincere love, they will not think of getting divorced. Rather, on the contrary, they will have respect for each other not only sympathy, but also respect, because together they have managed to raise such a worthy child.

If it comes to divorce or not, you will in any case get a passive experience. Watching your parents, you will understand (ideally - remember and take into account), what mistakes in your own future relationships should be avoided, what can be done in particularly conflict situations and how to establish relations with your second half.

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