Dialogue between two friends: the rules of successful communication

We are adults and independent, smart and practical. However, we still need emotionally saturated communication with our own kind. Dialogue between two friends is a necessary everyday pleasure. Friends help us feel included in society and fit. Even ordinary shallow interaction is extremely important for mental health. What should be the dialogue of friends, so that people are happy?

First, in communication, the degree of activity should be comfortable for both. Traditionally it is considered that it is necessary for both partners to talk, in turn letting each other speak . In fact, many people feel comfortable enough when one speaks, and the second monosyllabically answers. Such a dialogue is not at all flawed - the second partner may be more tired at the time of communication and in principle less sociable, but communication for him is still important. And such a dialogue between two friends is quite acceptable and normal. Perhaps this pair of friends is exactly the way it is, perhaps the second partner is more active in discussing another topic. Often people get a sincere pleasure from stories on favorite topics, although they themselves in principle are poorly understood.

Secondly, in the dialogue, friends should respect each other. More precisely, observe the boundaries of the personality and have a certain tact. Sometimes it seems that friends almost quarrel and interfere in each other's affairs . But this does not spoil relations, how so? The fact is that at a certain stage of friendship, people "test each other for strength" and establish the limits of permissible relations. Often these boundaries also differ from the generally accepted norms and for the outsider's person may seem to be disrespectful. In fact, some game with borders serves as a means of showing affinity for a person.

Thirdly, the dialogue between two friends should be intellectually informative and interesting. Usually one of the partners is more informed, and the second one should be able to react properly to the information being provided. As a rule, friends try to present the information in the most accessible form, so it is important for the listener to note that it is clear or unclear to him to understand the thought if possible. Not always for a successful dialogue you need a big novelty. Often friends like to recall together the experience they experienced or repeat each other's successful phrases . Psychologists have established that we choose the best friends of those with whom we have approximately the same level of need for novelty. If the novelty is not enough, a friend is perceived as boring, if too much new - it seems that a friend of yours "loads" with redundant information.

Fourthly, the dialogue between the two friends should correspond to the emotional needs of both friends. Emotional needs of different people are often very different, as a rule, in a harmonious pair of friends, only one of the partners himself gives out a lot of emotions. The second is usually a consumer. We need emotions in different degrees and emotions of different qualities. For example, a grandmother at the entrance often looks for an excuse to povozmuschatsya, and her friend she needs to ensure that the dialogue was as much as possible of this feeling. Or a teenager is looking for opportunities to express his enthusiasm for music - and enters the fan club of a certain group.

Fifth, communication should be useful. This point echoes the informativeness, but it is slightly different. Often we are more interested in people who, in practice, did what we just dreamed about or thought about. And the dialogue with such people becomes a bit one-sided, but extremely interesting. The main thing is to try to give the interlocutor something else, besides the sense of significance, so that in the future he would be interested in communicating with us.

"Let's talk, my friend" - and feel right, we will help others feel better. After all, we sometimes do not have enough communication, although it is not so difficult to get it. Simply come to a friend and say that you need him - often we are just shy sincerely asking each other about communication. Overcome the barrier - and you will feel better in society.