A gift to guests at a wedding: tradition, innovation, necessity, joy?

Couples whose marriage is 20-40 years old will be surprised to find themselves in a modern wedding: many traditions have changed. If your 20-year-old daughter says that you need to give gifts to each of the hundreds of guests, do not rush to grab your head and say: "No!" Actually, almost everything has changed in our life. Why not to renew the wedding traditions? Let's try to figure out who, for what and what gifts should be given at a modern marriage.

The Soviet bride knew for sure: a gift for guests at a wedding is necessary, yes, not one, but sometimes about a dozen. The circle of the gifted in general was understandable: close relatives of the groom (mother-father, siblings, grandparents, uncles-aunts, occasionally - godparents). Gifts were chosen high-quality. Given the general shortage, almost any gift to the guests at the wedding was necessary. After all, he was bought by coupons (invitations) in the bridal salon. It is difficult for current couples to imagine that terry towels, tablecloths, robes, shirts, kerchiefs, cuts of cloth, dishes, bed-clothes may be a deficit, but it was, was. These are the simplest objects of everyday life and clothes and were bought as a present for guests by the bride and groom, who got desired access to rare goods on the shelves of a regular store. The newlyweds did not usually exchange gifts.

Contests at weddings of Soviet times, of course, were held. Souvenirs for them, too, relied, mostly joking. Something was bought by the newlyweds, witnesses. It certainly was not a big problem, because all these souvenirs were worth a penny. And most importantly - no one claimed to receive a serious gift, it was enough to make a homemade cardboard medal or a diploma "The most active guest".

It turns out that the tradition of presenting guests to the wedding existed also with our ancestors, but the sacred meaning of the rite was different. As a rule, the bride handed over things, woven, bound, embroidered with their own hands. The groom's father received a belt, his mother - a luxurious kerchief, the groom - an embroidered shirt, relatives - a tablecloth, a towel, napkins. The bride demonstrated in this way her skill, her generosity, and gifts filled with special energy. The bridegroom was supposed to show his material solvency, so he tried to buy a mother-in-law a rich fur coat, a father-in-law - new boots, a bride - jewelry and fashionable clothes.

In recent years, it has become a tradition to present each guest at the wedding with small souvenir bonbonniere. The roots of tradition should be sought in medieval France. "Bonbon" - "sweet" in French, and bonbonnière - "candy". Thus, bonbonniere is a beautiful box for sweets. At various festivities in France, guests were given sweets to thank them for their presence at the wedding, baptism or communion. The tradition has successfully survived the centuries and migrated to other European states, and in recent years to Russia and the CIS countries.

In France candy bars were usually covered with glazed almonds, but today it can be small chocolates in foil or candied fruit. Bonbonniere look like bags, sachets, envelopes, boxes. You can prepare them yourself and pick up the tone of your themed wedding. By the way, according to tradition, there should be 5 pills in candy bar: symbols of fertility, happiness, well-being, health and longevity. Today this amount is usually not observed, the popular rumor says only that the number of sweets should be odd.

Moreover: practicalism took over and over windy sweet tooth French. Today, couples are increasingly thinking about souvenirs, which will leave the memory of the celebration for a long time. For example, a fridge magnet with a wedding date and photos of the newlyweds will help guests not forget the day of your wedding, and you can even count on gifts for a wooden wedding (by the fifth anniversary of your life together).

Some couples come up with more and more original ideas for souvenirs to guests: they can be calendars, glasses and newspapers of special design, charms, vases, tiny jars with jam ... A gift to guests at a wedding can be jocular. In this case, we are talking about individual souvenirs, which, of course, makes it difficult for the future couple.

We considered the main options for wedding gifts, but they did not answer the question: "What should be done according to wedding etiquette?" In the era of globalization, it is quite difficult to talk about the existence of established rules, in fact, there is no uniform wedding etiquette. Certainly, bonbonniere is not a Slavic tradition, but it has taken root, and many like it.

Today, only newlyweds make a decision about who should give souvenirs, and what gift to guests at the wedding will be appropriate. You can not give anybody. A bright ceremony, a festive banquet, a show program is the main gift for those present. You can give gifts to close relatives, as your mothers and grandmothers did. And you can prepare souvenirs in the French style for all participants of the celebration (each or one per family). The decision is for the bride and groom. Believe me, there are no clear rules. According to the observations of the leading weddings, today about a third of the banquets are held without gifts to guests, but this makes the holiday neither less fun nor less happy.

However, if the finances allow, why not make this cute gesture - bonbonniere as a gift - to thank the guests for sharing this day with you. Surely you will get pleasure, and everyone present. In the bonbonniere you can put a thank you card. Perhaps, we should not forget that you are not buying gifts for a golden wedding, but nice little things that should not be too expensive. Souvenirs are given at the end of the celebration or during the donation ceremony as a response "thank you".

In any case, do not forget to thank the guests orally.